Sunflower | h.s

6

Aaliyah Moreno

I trudge down the stairs with my hair dampening the back of my hoodie as I greet my mum and dad, my brother was at the childminders for the night. My mum was in the kitchen/dining area plating up the food while my dad was sat at the desk finishing up his work. He always worked from home, he didn't like the thought of working anywhere else which was quite sweet.

"Hi honey. Feel refreshed?"

I nod at her as I go to grab my plate of food and sit down at our dinner table. Dinner wasn't my favourite meal of the day. We all sat together and sometimes my parents argued. I've gotten used to it and have learnt how to ignore it, but they were normally arguing about me. About the poetry I recite, my dad says it's because he thinks I have ADHD but he was really quick to label me. I knew I didn't have it, I just found the upmost joy in reading pieces of writing but he never got that which is why they argued most of the time.

It normally resolved in me leaving the table to finish my dinner in my room and putting my little brother to bed then come back down when I know neither of them are there. I was still lucky in the sense that they both made sure to agree on one thing and that was to love me and my brother unconditionally no matter how hard it was for either of them.

"So Aaliyah. Any new books or quotes?"

"Oh god here we go again." My dad says as he rolls his eyes and slumps back in his chair.

My mum shoots her eyes over to him and then returns them into mine as they soften up.

"Well. There is one that I saw the other day and I fell in love with it; calm is the magic elixir that brings you to a place of balance, harmony and peace."

That quote was needed right now for my own sake. If they argued I just had to remain calm and remember that worse things happen in the world.

"That's a nice one dear. Tom, Isn't that nice? The fact that our daughter can memorise all of these things."

"Elora, it's because of her ADHD and we both know it." He said bitterly causing me to roll my eyes and slump back in my seat

"I beg to differ" she says while looking at my dad but holding my hand in hers while stroking it with her thumb.

I stood up, causing my chair to make a loud squeak on our glossy, wood flooring.

"You both think there's something wrong with me. Dad you think I have ADHD which is absolute crap, just because I enjoy reading and I'm not an average teenager who goes out clubbing or spends 24 hours on her phone but I rather find enjoyment through reading. And mum you constantly think I need nurturing and looking after in which some cases I do. But other times it's really over the top. I'm not a child!" I shout at the top of my lungs as I feel my eyes become heavy with tears. Thank god my brother wasn't here to see this. I never often exploded at my parents like that, part of me felt remorse but the other part of me was just so sick of it.

I made sure to enhance the sound of my footsteps as I went back up into my room so they knew I was annoyed and that I just wouldn't stand for that anymore. I know my mum probably meant well with what she does but what I said was true, I'm not a child so I didn't need constant nurturing.

I eventually make it into my room and make myself a cup of coffee with my mini espresso machine. The sound of the machine is what fills the room along with the echoing drops of the rain as I sit down on the edge of my bed and move my hair to the side.

I go grab a couple pens out of my left bedside draw and my journal that's hidden under my mattress so no one found it. I loved writing in it whenever I felt stressed or I wanted to remember something.

I hear the liquid of the machine slowing down as I go to retrieve my cup and gently tapping the sides to make sure I didn't have to let it cool down. I see the steam evaporate off the liquid and was so intrigued by it. I always found something so interesting about it. The way it swirled around in the air creating all different shapes before diffusing into small particles never to be seen again. I always just thought it was quite cool.

I rest it on my bedside table and switch both my lamps on and open the window to hear the sound of the rain.

When it rains the world softens and becomes really quiet as if it absorbs sound, kind of like snow. Except with rain it becomes a liquid mirror onto which light and colours bleed. When it rains everything becomes beautiful and peaceful.

I sat down in my bed and tucked my covers over my knees and used them as a rest for my journal and write down what I just said in my head about rain. The sound of the rain against my window was enough to help calm me down, it easily helps relive me of stress because it feels though as if my negative thoughts and feelings are washed off by the rain and down into somewhere I wouldn't care about them anymore.

The other thing I write in my journal is about Harry.

Aaliyah's Literature Journal

Monday 16th August 2001

•As the Sun slips below the horizon, dipping from view causing the moon and stars to outshine it for the night. I remind myself that you, Harry, are like the sun and you are still out there. You're just out of sight. And hopefully when it returned to its original place in the sky at dusk that I would see you again.

•Rain. The world's absorption of sound. Robbing us from every other sound but it's own. Yet it doesn't actually have a distinct sound to it. With every falling drop would be a new sound as some fell on leaves, others fell on wood and others into existing puddles. It just sounded the same as it's all thrown out of the clouds at the same rate. But if you really listen, you'll notice not one drop is the same.

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As I close my journal for the night I slip it under my bed and take a sip of coffee. I rest my head against my headboard as I slowly close my eyes and just think and try to relax. I decided I'd go to the fields alone tomorrow and this time maybe wander on my own for a bit in hope that I bumped into Harry. God I hope I saw him again.