Sunflower | h.s

21

~ just a small TW before you read the chapter (it's quite late on in.) but it mentions a topic of scars from SH. Please don't let that put you off from this chapter as to me this is 100% going to be my favourite chapter to write so far because it has such a beautiful meaning. If you really don't want to, I won't force you. I love you <3 I also recommend you click the play button on the music if you haven't already!~

Harry Styles

7:32pm

I sit down on my couch with my fingers interlocked as the backs of my thumbs rest on the bridge of my nose. Part of me was so nervous to see Aaliyah today for reasons I didn't understand. Wether I was excited or nervous I wasn't sure. I don't know what it is, I've said it many times before about her, but I just feel as if me and her just click. Like everything is just right. But I didn't know if it was a two way street, I don't know how she feels towards me.

Waiting for everything to be just right for the both of us would involve both of us embracing the feeling of being nervous around each other sometimes or maybe even a little scared. That didn't matter to me as I interpreted it to be a sign that we are alive and ready to grow. If it meant it took Aaliyah a bit longer, then I would wait.

Right now it feels as if it's been 10 years when it's only been 10 minutes. Time is very slow for those who wait. Whereas it moves quickly when you're doing something you enjoy. I knew that it meant time would move really quickly with me and Aaliyah today. It feels like sometimes I blink and I miss everything she does or says. In reality I take it all in, in my head it feels like it's over so quickly and I wish it could last forever.

I decide to make my way to the fields early, I rub my palms together, grab my phone and camera and head out the door. I decided I'd walk to the field just so I'd get there roughly when Aaliyah would. I walk out of my house and close the door gently behind me and put the camera strap loosely around my neck so the camera falls to roughly where my butterfly tattoo was.

I got a butterfly tattooed on me because we delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. I got it tattooed on me because it reminds me to be less stubborn and get to know more about people. It's now become a force of habit that I feel like I need to get to know people deeper than what's portrayed on the surface. That's probably why I wanted to see Aaliyah a lot, not to be weird, just to get to know her a bit better.

As I walk around I see the setting suns beams pierce through the branches of the trees, illuminating the pink of the blossom and reds of the leaves. This was the perfect day to get pictures because I'd be able to saturate the leaves to enhance the colours. That's what I loved about photography, the idea that anything can become the main focus of the picture if you're willing to accept it.

I see the bright yellow flowers, now a honey colour because of the setting sun, swaying lightly in the gentle breeze. Sunset at almost 8ish was one of the best times as sunset is a time to reflect on your day. It's just quite peaceful. Aaliyah said something about a lake, I've always loved to dip my feet in ever since I was a young boy so I was definitely going to do that. Wether she did it too or not was up to her.

I make my way to the white gate in which most of the paint has been chipped of and open it causing it to creak slightly. I could tell no one was here because the only sounds I could hear were the rustling of the giant leaves of which grew out of the stem of the plant. I must admit, the more Aaliyah told me about the plant itself, the more I grew attached and fascinated as to finding out more.

What is the essence of a sunflower

Is the one question that's been on my mind ever since she said it. It is the main idea of the surprise i have in my journal for her. The journal is an important thing to me because when I eventually tell Aaliyah about it I just know she'd be grateful for it. It's just the type of person she was. That made me excited for the day I can eventually show her. God I couldn't wait to see her.