Sunflower | h.s

20

Aaliyah Moreno

I wake up in my bed, confused as to how I got there. I must have been so tired that I took myself to bed without realising. I look over at the alarm clock

9:08am

I abruptly push the covers off of me as I sit up to realise I'm also still in the clothes from yesterday. I didn't care about that right now, I was way too excited for the day ahead. I was nervous to tell Raven.

Actually.

Nervous and excited are the same sensation. Negative vs. Positive. I need to stop saying I'm nervous and start saying I'm excited. So I was in fact excited to tell Raven about me and Harry. There wasn't a lot to tell as it's only small details that seem to make me the happiest, but Raven wouldn't understand. She would to an extent, but she wouldn't fully understand. She's more of an extrovert, someone who was very sociable and outgoing. I was more of an introvert and kept things to myself, I don't talk to many people as majority of the time I'm lost in my own head reading.

I walk over to my mirror with the souls of my feet scuffing the carpet as I do so. I look at myself and gently rub both my forefingers under each of my eyes to help take away some of the excess mascara. I exhale a deep sigh as I decide to take a shower, I needed one.

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I step out the shower as I wrap a towel over myself and on my hair. I go over to the bathroom mirror and wipe the steam off to reveal my reflection who is now looking a bit more presentable.

I walk out the bathroom with water droplets dripping from the end of my hair as I removed the towel off my head. I walked over to my bedside table, grabbed my hairbrush and brushed my hair until all the knots were out. There's something satisfying about brushing your hair, don't ask me what it is because it's weird I know. I just always found it satisfying feeling it go from tangled to smooth and easy to run your fingers through.

I slip on an oversized hoodie and jeans and decide to change into a dress later on when I went out with Harry. Me and Raven normally wore casuals around each other which was quite nice. I normally lived in clothes that covered my mid thigh and waist as it's not something I enjoy looking at. The most revealing thing is wear is a dress or ripped jeans with a rip in each knee.

But my happiness does not depend my looks or how much skin I show and it does not define me as a person. It is about my character and personality. And if that isn't valued by other people then they were not worthy of my presence or time.

That's what I had to keep reminding myself every day when I looked in the mirror and if I said it enough, it worked. This time I don't bring my book to the coffee shop as I'd want to save that for when I see Harry later.

The chapters I've read of the book so far have been short, and to be honest, I hope it's like that through the entire book. Because even though the chapters are short, the personification in them holds such a deep meaning. That's what I loved about poems and literature, they are the language surprised in the act of changing into meaning. That's why I try to live by them. If I do that, and do it well. Then there's not really anything in life I can't do.

I make my bed and go out of my bedroom as I'm met with my mum sat with her head in her hands on the couch. She was mumbling something to herself but I couldn't quite make out what it was she was saying

"Mum?" I ask as I step toward her. It was clear to see my words startled her slightly as she quickly lifted her head from her hands and stood up. She gently rubs the palms of her hands on the apron she had around her waist to remove the creases.