My Stepbrother.

Maybe I do.

It had been a week since Daryl and Michael had moved in, things were starting to settle and dare I say it, I guess it was nice having them around.

Mum smiled a lot more, ever since things got bad with dad and then the result of the bad - his death she hadn't really been herself.

" She smiles a lot more" my eyes were holding back the tears as I pulled my lips into a smile.

"I guess she blamed herself for a while, I blamed myself for a while. We should have helped him a lot more, he was depressed and needed us. If I had a pound for every time a councillor told me that it wasn't my fault I'd be the richest under 21 in the world. But I can't help but feel like I didn't do enough, and I know that's exactly how she felt"

"The first year was the worst, I was told so many times it would be. I needed my mum, but she was grieving herself. She wouldn't let me in, constantly telling me how much I reminded her of him and how she couldn't stand the sight of me. I just needed the one person who wasn't there for me"

"I didn't know how to cope, I'd never lost someone so important to me. So I drank, I did every drug I could get my hands on all just to forget, but I never did. There was always this voice in my head telling me how selfish he'd been, choosing himself over his family. I'd just lost him and I was calling him selfish. How pathetic is that?"

The silence surrounding me urged me to go on. I swallowed the lump in my throat trying desperately not to cry.

"I tried to kill myself too"
My hand was met by a supporting hand squeezing it to reassure me. It took me by surprise as my fingers were pulled apart to slide theirs in between the gaps.
"I remember it just like yesterday" I lightly chuckled.

"I swallowed all the pills I could get my hands on and just laid in my bed urging for the pain to leave, but it was the pain that kept me alive. I knew I had to beat it, I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out it was like I was drowning in my own body." The tears sketched down my face.

"So I pushed my body weight off my bed, knowing she'd hear me. She saved my life and it was the wake up call we both needed"

"Lauren I had no idea" His free hand was bought from the side of his waist to wipe away the tears on both of our faces. "No one did, not even me I guess".

"We're on a roller coaster that only goes up from here my friend" His smile was genuine, making me laugh at his corniness.

"You're so lame Michael" I rolled my eyes into the back of my head throwing my body back onto the pillow that was behind me.

He pulled himself next to me as we laid side by side in my bed. "Yeah but you love it." The joke was evident in his voice.

I turned on my side to make eye contact with the green eyed boy and in a serious voice i whispered "Maybe I do".