perhaps, you | woosan

Chapter Nineteen

POV: San

San felt his heart beat faster. He felt an unknown lump swelling in his throat as his fists clenched unconsciously.

The other laughed frantically. Not knowing when to stop.

"Didn't we kiss that night at Hongjoong's party? Isn't it too late to act all innocent?"

"Mingi...."

San's heart stopped. His ears were numb. He believed he heard wrong. He wished he did. But as the door creaked open, it revealed the truth lying in the room, brutally thrusting him with pain; two tall men on one bed, entangled, deeply indulged in each other's lips.

San heard the cracking of his heart.

"S-SAN!!"

Yunho noticed a figure standing at the threshold, a little too late to shove off the man on top for a disguise.

"Hi, San! Nice to meet you," the tall man with falcon eyes—Mingi waved his hand cheerfully, then dropped shamelessly. "Do you mind sharing your boyfriend?"

He should've lashed out on such a blatant request. But he felt so broken, so torn, that he couldn't help but look at Yunho in hollow eyes.

"San, San, I can explain!" Yunho yelled desperately, attempting to stand up, removing the other's hold on him. But what could he even? The view was an irreversible truth of betrayal.

San lost it when Mingi caught the tripping Yunho in his arms, who was wobbling his way to San.

"GET OUT."

"San-"

"GET OUT!!"

Yunho stood there, helplessly gazing at San, who had no intention of looking back at who once was his blessing.

San, he whispered under his shaky breath, no longer reaching his favourite person's ears.

In that moment of what felt like a flash and an eternity, Mingi was the first to move out of the room, dragging Yunho who was unable to move on his own. Not until the last moment of the door closing did Yunho look away from San, his pile of words stuck in his throat, looking for a way to escape.

But now San was alone. Alone in a room he shared his favourite memories with his loved person, now broken. How many times did Yunho invite Mingi in this room? How many times did he betray him? How many times did he—in what intensity?

The room suddenly looked like a foreign place, no longer welcoming in his eyes. He could only crouch down on the spot, too weak on his knees to step any further. He wanted to cry, but what escaped his mouth was a dry laughter.

San threw away everything he had to be with Yunho—his mother, his friends, his past life. He recklessly trusted his entire being and soul on this one person, convinced that handing over his everything to this person was the most definite path to happiness—too blinded to realise he also gave the authority to crush it completely into pieces, leading him to unswerving despair.

What he couldn't take was the fact that he couldn't live with Yunho, but the other easily found someone else. Perhaps San was pitiful in his eyes, that he had fed him with the need of protection. And Jung Yunho was kind—too kind, that now he found someone else he needed to care for.

Chaotic pain stabbed his heart recurrently—it must be imaginary—but the bleeding felt too real to ignore. He was torn, broken, crushed. Curving up, hugging his legs, he let out a muffled cry, in the midst of a not so familiar room anymore.

Later, he heard that Hongjoong smacked Yunho down because he found him kissing Mingi drunk, he also heard some speculation saying Yunho perhaps was jealous that San was busy spending his time with Hongjoong—the most idiotic excuse, San thought—but truth didn't matter anymore.