mr jung | jhs

fifteen : let's kiss

It's not okay.

Hoseok sits in front of me on his bed with the script fitted snugly in his hands as he analyzes it carefully. In contrast, I'm just panicking about the fact that I'm in his room again.

I don't know why but it feels weird going into Hoseok's room. I've been before but it still feels strange to be in a man's room. It feels strange being around Hoseok's things; his clothes, his bed and his books. Everything. The room reeks of Hoseok's personality and charm.

"Are you ready?" He gives a start, a palm on his leg as he stares right at me, clueless to my nervous heart and wandering mind.

I'm not ready and I think I never will be in this lifetime as long as it's Hoseok but I still nod anyway. The look in Hoseok's eyes does a total flip and he's changed into his character in a matter of seconds.

His lips spread into a cheeky grin, "Why'd you call me out? It's already so late." He tilts his head to the side.

The nervousness which is supposed to be acted out for the script comes from the bottom of my heart. I fiddle with the hem of my shirt, "There's just something on my mind."

Hoseok's eyes momentarily leave his script to look into mine, "Come on, you could have told me tomorrow. Or over text, you know?"

I frown, still playing with my shirt, "Uhm..."

The man uses his free hand to tenderly grasp my shoulder. "Hey, what's going on?" Concern swims through his voice and at the edge is my heart.

I know this isn't real. I know it's just acting but the way he's saying it makes my insides churn in a fascinatingly pleasant way.

"Look, I need you to listen to me first before you give me an answer okay?" Hoseok nods slowly.

"Tell me, I'm listening." His eyes follow the words on the script before they dart back to me.

I take in a deep breath, feeling the exchange of gases before I speak. "I actually like you a lot."

"I know I'm risking our friendship. It took us years to build up this friendship but I can't contain my feelings anymore."

Hoseok's lips are parted slightly, "What?"

It's like my eyes are glued to the paper because I refuse to look at Hoseok as I continue. "I know you probably think I'm reckless for doing this and I know you probably don't like me back. I know."

"But I like you too much to stop. I don't know when, why or how it started. All I know is I like you a lot." I smile a little as I run through the next line.

"You wouldn't know, but every time I hear your name I smile like an idiot. If I get a message I would hope that it's from you. I become a happier version of myself when I'm with you. And I know I don't have much to offer but I promise to give you my heart."

I bite my lower lip, feeling Hoseok's gaze lingering on my face as I continue, "I don't think this is love yet. I don't love you just yet." I glance at the man through the corner of my eye. Gloom is written all over his face but it's erased as quickly as it came.

"We might not be able to walk till the end together but I'll make sure the days we spend together are worthwhile. I want to become the cause of your happiness."

Hoseok lets go of the script to put his hand on mine. His fingers trap mine loosely and I can feel the heat from his fingertips transmitting into my palm.

He suddenly breaks into a smile, "You dumbass, I like you too. I thought I was pretty obvious with it but apparently not."

"What?"