Anywhere But Here

Chapter 25

THIS IS NOT MY STORY :) - meg

I own nothing. Sweet Jesus, that took forever. It's almost 8am and it's FINALLY done. All 11,000+ words of it. This was around 3,000 about 3 hours ago. I'm going to die. Phew. Okay. So. The song (thanks Rebecca) is Collide by Howie Day (youtube dot com/watch?v=Yk9G7OyKwLM) and I will ramble on at the end :)

Don't stop here,
I lost my place,
I'm close behind.

Even the best fall down sometimes,
even the wrong words seem to rhyme,
out of the doubt that fills my mind,
I somehow find,
you and I collide.

-

Kurt went upstairs and found Blaine by the door with his suitcase. He stopped still and his eyes went wide.

"You.." he tried and failed. "You're going back?"

Blaine looked up. "Oh, hey," he said.

It had been two days since Burt had woken up and Kurt and Blaine hadn't spoken much. Kurt still wasn't sure what to do, but he didn't want Blaine to leave, not yet, not until he'd figured it out. On the other hand, he couldn't ask him to hang around, either, not after how he had treated him.

"I'm, um, going to stay with my mom for a little while," Blaine explained. "I haven't seen her since Christmas and I don't want to be..in the way here, I guess."

"You're not in the way," Kurt said, softly.

Blaine shrugged. "I feel..out of place," he told Kurt. "I know it won't exactly be comfortable with my mom, but.. I don't want it to be awkward for you in your own home, you know?"

Kurt couldn't deny that it was awkward, but that didn't mean he wanted Blaine to leave.

Kurt stayed quiet.

"I haven't made any plans to go back yet," Blaine went on. "Maybe I won't even go back..but I'll get your things back to you as soon as I can. Unless you need them sooner?"

"Wait," Kurt said. "You might not go back? Why not?"

Blaine inhaled for a long time, then exhaled, slowly.

"I can't really...imagine being out there any more," he told Kurt and Kurt knew he meant without him. "I.. I'm not sure what I'm doing yet."

"Blaine," Kurt said. "Don't not go back because of me. You're doing good with school and everything. I already hurt you enough, I don't want to ruin your future, too."

Blaine sighed. "My idea of the future isn't the same any more, so it's fine. It's not your fault and don't blame yourself for it, okay? I'll figure it out. Like I said, I don't know what I'm doing yet."

Kurt sighed then and sat down on the arm of the sofa.

"This is such a mess," he whispered. "I didn't mean for it to go like this."

Blaine only shrugged.

"Would you believe me if I told you I'm sorry?"

"I know you are," Blaine said, standing up straight. "I just wish you were sorry enough to do something about it."

And with that, Blaine grabbed his case, gave Kurt a small nod, then opened the door and went outside.

Kurt sat there blinking for a long time. Blaine Anderson had practically just walked out of his life and he felt winded and broken and like everything had become finalized. Kurt sat there until the tears rolled down his cheeks, at which point he went back downstairs and climbed under the covers, not wanting to face the day any more.