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Aaliyah's Diary

February 20, 2003

Dear Diary,

I honestly don't want to say or to think about what Tom had told me, he left me in the living room with his words floating around the room. And now I can't seem to get them out of my head. It has completely distracted me from everything that has been going on, as far as my my family is concerned, I couldn't enjoy watching Jay and Michael dance with each other, I couldn't pay attention to a scene that Paris was acting with Vanessa and Kaliyah. It seems like I know something is going to happen with this, for once I wish I didn't have to know these such strong instincts, but the instincts I had about Janet is coming back. They had left over the years but now they're back, although the family denied the charges, i know deep down inside something is going to come up. I just wish It doesn't hurt Michael, I pray for that. Because I don't want want to see him stressed he just now starting to get over the thing with Jordie, and that was almost ten years ago. It will hurt his soul of they say he did this, because he practically save that boys life, and if it wasn't for him he was going to be dead. I just pray to God nothing bad happens. Because the first time, we didn't have kids, I was pregnant through the whole thing. Now that we do, and I know that they are all smart enough to notice a change. Especially Lyssa and Prince, they know when we're upset or if Michael and I are mad at each other and it hurts them when they see us like that. I don't want them to have to worry, I don't want either of them to have to worry. I just....I don't know, I'm usually good at these kinds of things, but going through this again is something I can't take. It was stressing the first time and I went through hell trying to handle it. Lord knows how it's going to be like if it happens again. Michael would be stressed I would be stressed and his people would be pissing me off because most of them doesn't have any common sense. And I don't even want to be reminded about the drugs because that really messed everything up. Michael said he would never touch drugs again, and I trust him on that. I'm just afraid of what he would touch because of it. I don't even want to think about it.

God please don't let this happen again, please!

Aaliyah.

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An examply of Michael and Jay dancing on the Left, some of you may have seen it before.