Random Rants 5: Now with Furbys

Ranking my story openings

I think this'll be very interesting
And also very very insufferable when it comes to the beginning of I'm not a Tsundere

I'll do like the first couple paragraphs for each story

I'm not a Tsundere:
My name is Kasumi (花澄: Ka meaning flower/blossom and sumi meaning clear/pure.) I'm what some might call a tsundere. I have an older brother and sister and my parents look after us as much as possible. It's the first day back at school and I have to say, I am not excited.

"Look at you, you're all ready for your first day back," Mum says, tightening my pigtails. I roll my eyes and grab my bag from the table. "Bye mum," I reply, swinging it over my back. "Aren't you gonna wait for your siblings?" Dad asks as he blocks the door. NO WAY. "Umm, I'd like some privacy that's all," I say awkwardly. I push him out the way and head to the bus stop. "They're both puro no bakas anyway."

I put my earphones in and start listening to twenty one pilots. I look down and don't focus on the road ahead. Literally a disaster waiting to happen. Suddenly, a boy runs into me. My phone flies out of my hand and all I can do is watch. The boy grabs it and passes it to me. "Here you go, are you alright?" he grabs my hand and pulls me up. My cheeks go a bright red. His eyes glimmer so brightly, he's the prince of my dreams. "Y-yeah, b-b-but even if I wasn't I w-wouldn't need your help, b-baka," I reply, turning away.

The good:
- Absolutely nothing
- It's so shit

The bad:
- (can I just write everything? No? Fine...)
- babes, did you really start the story by introducing yourself
- we don't need to know the meaning of your name
- the all caps moments 🤮🤮
- th- the fucking stutter
- immediately introducing the love interest? We really are rushing things here

Conclusion:
0/10

- *ungodly screaming*

Smile:
Rika's POV
"Smile!" Mari giggles, taking a picture of me on her camera. "Jeez, not even a smile? You're so boring Rika, especially when you keep staring out the window like that." I tilt my head so I can just see her; she holds my camera in her hands and has a large frown on her face.
"Just... thinking, I guess," I reply.
"Thinking? About what or... hehe... who?" She sniggers, coming closer to me.
"Who? What do you m- N-No! I don't have a crush on anyone if that's what you're thinking!" I argue, jumping out of my seat.
"Now that I think about it, you seemed very determined to make sure I don't look at your photos," she lifts up the camera and begins to look through the photos I've taken.

"Normal, normal, a hideous selfie, normal, mug shot of me that I'm gonna delete, normal, TAKESHI?!" She shouts the last one, very shocked and confused. Takeshi Imota is a fairly popular boy at school. He's in the Drama Club and we share some classes, we've never talked, I don't think he even knows that I exist. "Th-that must've been when I lost my camera, s-someone must've taken the pictures!" I argue. It's true that I lost my camera, I'm not just making stuff up.
"But I'm certain you said that you checked to see if there were any photos and, if there were, deleted them. So... what's your rebuttal?" Mari teases. I give up. Yes, I've taken several pictures of Takeshi because I have a crush on him.

The good:
- Introduces the differences between Mari and Rika
- Establishes that Rika has had a crush on Takeshi for a while, rather than falling in love with him immediately
- stuttering isn't fucking unbearable
- "mug shot of me that I'm gonna delete" is a little funny I guess

The bad:
- fucking caps again
- Mari doesn't ask Rika what she's doing yet Rika replies with "just thinking, I guess" and I'm like bitch what
- also still introducing the love interest very early on
- "he doesn't know I exist" fuck off, you've almost definitely spoken in the past