Hazbin Hotel: The Million Year Old Sinner

The Million Year Old Sinner, Chapter 4

The Million Year Old Sinner

[Chapter 4: A Downtown Stroll]

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The Hazbin Hotel...

"Goddammit, I'm so fuckin' booooooooorrred..." Angel Dust grumbled to himself, flipping from channel to channel on the TV. He was slumped against the couch with his entire body taking up the whole entire sofa with a half-eaten bowl of cereal laying just a few feet away from him on a coffee table. The Spider had woke up just an hour ago and simply was trying to find something good to watch. However, much to Angel's dismay, just about most of the stuff that Angel found were pointless infomercials that made no sense, campy forgotten shows that likely came from the 60s and 70s, or whatever kind of crap 666 News was on about.

"Is there ANYTHING on here that's actually fuckin' worth watching?" The spider demon complained, his fingers almost growing numb to the constant button pressing. One of the channels that Angel flipped to a channel that showed a balding yellow demon with a tightly fitting suit who stood in front of an obviously-green screened background.

"HI THERE, I'M BILLY BILL BILLSON HERE! READY TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER WITH ANOTHER POINTLESS PRODUCT FOR GULLIBLE IDIOTS LIKE YOU TO BLOW YOUR MONEY ON BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL NOTHING MORE BUT A BUNCH OF BRAINDEAD SHEEP WHO FILL MY WALLETS WITH A FUCK TON OF CASH FOR BUYING THIS USELESS GARBAGE!" The demon shouted in an ear-piercingly shrill voice, his finger pointed at the viewer, which in this case was Angel.

"Tell me this? Are you tired of having your wife get all over your case? Don't you just want some time to yourself? Not wanna get up and make dinner for those little shitbags you call kids!?" The demon exclaimed to the viewer, oily sweat dripping from his brow.

"WELL, BOY HOWDY, DO WE HAVE THE SOLUTION FOR YOU! INTRODUCING, THE WIFE SHUTTER-UPPER!" The demon shouted before presenting the product, which obviously looked like a gun.

"It may look like a gun because it is an actual, fully loaded gun! Just take aim and BANG!" He said, squeezing the trigger as the gun fired a shot with the sound of one of the crew members yelping in pain before falling onto the ground was heard off-screen.

"Looks like you won't be buying any jewelry anytime sooner! HAHAHEHAHEHOH!" The salesman yelled with a demented laugh.

"Bill, you asshole!" The injured, off-screen crewmember grunted. Angel merely scoffed before changing the channel.

"Tch, I know a generation of crotchety old men will be buying all that shit in a heartbeat..." Angel chuckled, continuing to flip from channel to channel. As the spider continued flipping through the channel, he felt something tingly graze his forehead. Not only that but strands of hair were starting to slightly

"Hey, what the hell gives?" Angel muttered, leaning forward a little before craning his head up. Much to the spider demon's surprise, he was met with Oogar gazing down at him.