Part 42

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She sat down on the sofa silently, all the thoughts still running around in her mind, what decision was she supposed to make now? Why did everything get so confusing suddenly? She was so sure about her decision, why now out of nowhere she was having second thoughts about the decision she had already made?

What was she supposed to do now when she couldn't make just one final decision? Of course, she had to decide, she was either going to be with him or not, she couldn't just hang in between, that way she would always be stuck in the same place.

"Is everything okay? Where did Arnav take you?" Tara asked as she sat down beside Khushi and looked at her curiously.

"To see my mother." Khushi sighed.

"Isn't that supposed to be a good thing? Why aren't you happy about meeting your mother?"

"Because my mother is everything else but a mother, in fact she's a monster. I felt scared of her, you know children are supposed to feel safe with their mothers but I felt scared, my mother has done some horrible things that I can't ever forgive her for."

"So that's what has you worried?"

"No... Arnav has me worried. Tara I don't know what to do. I mean I don't know whether I should give Arnav another chance or stay firm on the decision I had made. A part of me believes that the decision I had made was right and I want to stick to it but now I'm having second thoughts about it." Khushi looked at Tara hoping she would be able to help.

"Well if it was the right decision, you wouldn't be having second thoughts and if you're having second thoughts it means it wasn't the right decision." Tara smiled.

"Is it that simple? To forgive and forget?"

"Who said you have to forgive and forget? You don't have to forget, if anything you have to remember so it keeps reminding you of the things you want and you don't want in your life. Everything that happens in our lives leaves a lesson behind, we are supposed to learn from it to make a better future.

Look I know a lot has happened between you and Arnav, and I cant even imagine what you must have gone through, but I can see how much you two love each other, and maybe there's a chance for that love working out, if you feel there is a chance, I think you should grab it.

We spend most our lives looking for love, someone to love us, someone to make us feel loved and special, if you've found that you should try to make it work."

"It's not as easy as you think Tara... the things he did to me were horrible. I mean we got married and he made me feel like all he only lusted for me."

"Oh My God! Did he force himself upon you?" Tara looked at me worriedly.

"No... When I refused to get intimate with him he backed out, he dint force me for it. But it doesn't change how it made me feel, like I was just there to satisfy his needs, I felt like I was his mistress and not his wife.

Now that everything is out in the clear, I know why he did that, I know why he behaved like that, and as much as I understand it, it's difficult to forgive him for it, after all, I was a human being and he dint treat me like one.

That's what I believed and that was why I was so sure about the decision I had made, but once I met my mother through his eyes, seeing her how he had seen her in the past, I realized what a monster she was, and how she influenced him and his mind.

That woman could do unspeakable things without having no remorse whatsoever and that is why somewhere now I feel, that yes, he might be wrong, he misunderstood things but that was my mother's fault, he was a child, she put it all in his mind.

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