Soldier // j.j.k

26.

Happiness is short liven, and he learned it the hardest way. Jungkook never like to shed tears, even when his mother died due to the tumor in her brain, or when his father died because of his lungs failed him when he was working, never once he cried. The only time he did cry was when he was forced to leave his country, because he was afraid of white men. He was scared to death that they will bullied him because his inability to speak English. But his father force him to man up at such a young age, and will punish him if he cried anymore.

Since then, he vowed to himself that he will never cry, even when the boys pick on him and call him stinky. At such a young age, Jungkook had been so heartless that if his mother was still alive, she wouldn't recognize the sweet boy she once raised. It was as if London took away his empathy, and his smile was never been seen even when he finally had friends to talk with. When his father died, he was instantly been placed in the orphanage by a pastor who pitied him, but Jungkook didn't thank him. He didn't see the need to. Everyone will pity an orphan boy.

He was able to speak their language, learn how to fight and defend himself along with those bad traits the boys in the orphanage teach him. The small Jeon survived the cold and heartless city by himself, and his smile could only seen once in a blue moon. When he was dragged to the military camp, he would lie if he wasn't scared. But Jungkook knew his fear will be the reason he might get killed, or be working in the mines. The only option he thinks it will be suitable for him was the army, and he was relief his name was on the list.

The war was getting uglier, and they were short of men. So the orphanage and boys from poor family was the best option. Some protest, but most of them decided it was the best. At least they died an honourable death.

Even with his cruel life with lack of options, he never cried. It was as if he became heartless and soulless, but when he was free from the war and was given the trust to be a high rank soldier, a lieutenant it was then he finally get to see the joy of a man life. Excessive beer, one night stand and countless of cigarettes was something Jungkook did too. He thought it was life. He thought happiness was this. But it was wrong. He felt empty and when he tried to smile at women, it came out forceful and he hated it.

He thought he will be living like this for the rest of his life. Then he met Haewon, and everything changed. The sweet boy Jeon Miso raised before was back, but it was only for Haewon. She saw his smile, his laugh and his silly jokes alongside with his playful side. Haewon thought him the happiness he had lost since he was young, but the man pride and fear was still there. The fear of losing her if he become weak one day and the pride that was battling against himself to open up everything about him to her.

And as if the God and fate wanted him to crush to the deepest point of his life, the happiness he longed for was indeed short liven.

It was taken drastically and for a second Jungkook thought his life passed by his eye when he got called by his captain to his room. He had hoped that he will finish his duty as a soldier guarding the post without any heavy duty work. Shooting trespasser and scared them was easy, and he was supposed to be back by the office by the end of the week.

He was supposed to wrote his letter to the higher ups about his withdrawal from the military, take out all his savings and went to the other side of world with his family. He had planned to make love towards Haewon until she was begging for him at the bed. He had imagined walking with Jaeun and played with her at the green field in front of them, at their new house in a different country. He was supposed to have a nice happy ending.

And it turns out, his happy ending never wished to exist in his life.

Why?

The war broke out, and it was getting uglier. The Germans had send them a threat, and they were asked to be  prepared for a war, at the south. It wasn't an ambush, and it wasn't attacking the city. It was a battlefield, and it was at the forest. Death rate is higher, and Jungkook knew this time it wasn't as easy as before.

And this time, he might die before he get to hold her in his arms again.