Namjoon Oneshots and Sickfics

The Art of Excluding Someone

Requested by @Kenedy_taejin

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Maybe the others thought they were being subtle, but Namjoon noticed. He always noticed these things. Back when he was in school, he had never been the type to have many friends. He was used to being invisible. He was used to not having anybody cheer for him when he went up to do a presentation. Namjoon had accepted that.

But now, now it was different. Call him selfish, but he longed for the amount of love that the others got from the fans. He wanted that too. Namjoon did get it. But not as much as the others.

He was used to that. But, really, he did not expect that to come from the members themselves. They were ignoring him. Not in a rude way, but in a way that made Namjoon feel hurt. They always had someone else who they wanted to talk to, someone else who they preferred to hang out with, or something like that. Namjoon wasn't the first choice for anybody.

When Jin (or any of the members) said something, the others would cheer him on or actually react to what he said. When Namjoon said something, one of them would nod, they would all be quiet for a moment, then Jungkook would break the silence with his stories about how he loved Cheetos. Namjoon's remark would go unnoticed.

It was a stupid thing to be upset over, he knew. It was just that... Namjoon had had to deal with this his entire life, and he was sick of it. He hated being the outlier. He hated being treated differently. He hated being excluded.

People sometimes asked him what superpower he wanted. Namjoon wanted to tell them that he already was a superhero. The power of invisibility had been given to him and he had perfected it to the max.

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Slowly, he got more and more upset. One domino fell over, making another one fall, and another, until Namjoon was utterly miserable and falling apart. He kept to himself, staying at his studio doing absolutely nothing. He felt self-conscious rapping or dancing solo in front of the others. He wondered if they gossiped about him behind his back. He wouldn't be surprised if they did. Maybe they all laughed at him. Maybe they all made fun of him.

Namjoon honestly didn't want to believe that his members would do that. They were nice people, even if they were a tad bit annoying at times. He had snapped at them sometimes. Maybe that was the issue? Maybe Namjoon wasn't supposed to have tried to discipline them? Maybe he did a bad job as a leader? But no, that couldn't be true. They all got along well as a group... well, if you didn't count Namjoon. They were all close, but they weren't clingy. They had their own friends as well. No, if Namjoon had to make sense out of it, he would say that it wasn't because he was a bad leader. He had done a pretty good job. They didn't have too many verbal fights (or physical ones for that matter).

No, they had always got along well. They had always been nice. Namjoon didn't want to believe that they would start being rude to him now. They had spent years together. Surely, all these years weren't an act? Or were they? Maybe they were just pretending to like him? Maybe Yoongi was the better leader? Maybe they were all secretly fluent in English and just liked to embarrass him at the interviews?

Namjoon couldn't tell. He couldn't understand. He didn't want to ask them either. That would be too awkward. They would probably try to deny it or throw some money for some fancy gifts as an "apology". Namjoon didn't want that. Namjoon didn't need that.

He just wanted to feel like he belonged. It was embarrassing sitting alone at a meeting while the others talked about their plans for the evening. Sometimes, one of them would holler something out to Namjoon, but it was always something irrelevant. Namjoon wasn't invited to their gatherings, to their outings, to their parties, to anything they were involved in. He wished he could go somewhere with Jackson, but GOT7 was busy and filled with schedules. His other friends were busy with their jobs and relationships too. Nobody really had time for him.