***TRIGGER TRIGGER TRIGGER***
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Why did it have to happen to me?
Texas, the lone star state, majestic as it was, was a horrible place to live. What's that slogan again? 'Don't mess with Texas?' Well, Texas sure likes to mess with everyone else. Texas isn't the only one though; almost all the other states were exactly the same. The only shining star in an unconstitutional country was New York, it was the only state I could be free.
I guess I should give some backstory, shouldn't I?
Some ten years ago a privileged white man in the senate decided that homosexuality was a crime. There was no evidence to his bill; there was no press about it. The public had absolutely no say in the matter, and didn't even know about it until it somehow got passed into the American constitution.
Then the trials started.
I was extremely young, maybe 7 or 8 at most, but I remember those events too clearly. Civilization ceased to exist in that moment, and gays were hung, whipped, or burned alive; like slaves in the 1800s. Terror reigned, and I was scared even though I didn't quite know what was going on. The other countries feared us to a point they wouldn't even bother stepping in to try and rationalize the animalistic acts of violence happening. It wasn't a war for the people, it wasn't a war against the people; it was a dystopia. And the fact that it still is causes tremors to flow through my nerves.
They enforced it in schools too; heteronormativity was everywhere. Each class had an equal number of boys and girls; just enough for there to be a match for everyone. If one boy in the class understood the material, he was only allowed to explain it to the girls. It was ridiculous, and I could tell the teachers hated it. But they kept quiet, and so did I. I just wanted to be normal.
It was a dreary Tuesday morning when it started. My teacher stood in front of the class, droning on about American History, when a knock sounded. She opened the door to reveal the vice principal holding two new students, one boy one girl, by their shirt collars.
"These are your new students, assign them seats" he said dryly, shoving the two into the class. The teacher gestured to two empty seats in the back on either side of my, and I finally got a good look at them.
The girl was beautiful, like all Texan girls tend to be. She had dark hair that flowed past her shoulders and spidery lashes that fluttered as she looked around the classroom before sitting to my left. The boy was extremely tall, and blonde, and handsome.
No, no. I mentally slapped myself. I couldn't think like that. I had to be brainwashed like everyone else. It didn't matter that he was cute, or that I wanted to know his name. Nothing mattered. Because nothing that could come from this would be good. I would never get the chance of being happy.
I chose to ignore him. I summoned every will in my body to not look at him, to not fall for him. But I was helpless when I was trapped under the gaze of his blue eyes.
That's when it started. Over several weeks it only spiraled downward until every waking thought was filled with him. I still didn't know his name, and I hadn't seen him outside school hours. It was probably teenaged hormones talking, but I was determined to make that change.
I was walking home from school, and the eerie quiet town wasn't enough to mask the echo of footsteps behind me. I knew it was him behind me, it must have been. I looked around, just to make sure there wasn't anyone in close vicinity. He was lurking, keeping his eyes on the ground until I spun around.
"Hey," I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. "I know a place we can go, follow me."
We walked, him trailing several feet behind me the whole time. Finally, the library was in sight. Finally, we would have a place free of judgement to talk.
