A/N okay so as a *creative* method to study chemistry I tried to incorporate the material into a cute flirty fetus scomiche fic. I KNOW IT SUCKS KINDA MY SKILLS ARE RUSTY ILL BE BACK WITH GOOD STUFF SOON
I chucked a pillow over to where Scott was hunched over at his desk for what must have been at least the 20th time in the past hour.
"Mitch, can you stop it please?" he pleaded, spinning around his desk chair to pitch the pillow back at me. "I really need to study."
"I can't help it! You're being really boring." I groaned, laying back down on his bed. "I need attention."
"And you'll get some. Just not right now." He reached behind him for his books and pushed his chair over so it'd be next to the bed. "Besides, you knew I had a chemistry final tomorrow and you still came over unannounced. If you want my full, undivided attention, the only way you'll get it is through quizzing me. Sorry hun, but that's the way it is."
I reluctantly sat up, snatching the notebook from his hands. "Fine, but only because I love you. You're still boring."
"Correction! Chemistry is boring, and unfortunately that's the price I gotta pay to ace this final. By all means, try and make this fun for me, if that's even possible."
"Okay, is there anywhere you'd like me to start or do I just do whatever?"
"Literally I do not care just get it done."
I looked at his papers and thought hard. How can I possibly turn this into something that will make him laugh and help him remember it.
I had the perfect idea: turn the material into really bad pick up lines.
"Okay, first up: the particle model of matter. Use the particle model to describe our relationship and explain why."
"Miiiitch," he complained, stifling a laugh. "Are you serious right now."
"Yes." I said with full seriousness. "I'm trying to make chemistry interesting. Now answer the question."
"Um, we would be a solid because the attraction between us is very strong, much like the particles in a solid. When you wrap your arms around me we always fit together and form a definite shape like a solid, and, um, we're literally glued together so I guess we'd also be incompressible? I mean, when you're attached to my hip there isn't much room for moving around so particles can only vibrate and not perform translational movement."
"Great! You literally know it all. Okay next: gases in daily life. Example you and I were kissing and then I had trouble breathing because you took my breath away. What common gas would I need, where is it's source, and what are its other uses?"
"Okay you'd need to be put on an oxygen tank. Oxygen comes from photosynthesis and is used for cellular respiration, oxidizing metals, igniting flames, and pressurizing planes."
"Correct. I tell you a compliment and you blush like a tomato, and your body temperature increases. Is this an endothermic or exothermic reaction?"
"Exothermic. And I do not blush like a tomato!"
"Yes you do, you nerd." I giggled at his childlike pout as he crossed his arms over his chest. "This is a boring question because I can't think of anything to do with it but explain the connection between ideal gas law and the kinetic theory?"
"Oh shit, I don't know if I know this one."
"Think hard, I'll reward you if you can figure it out."
"Umm, when the volume decreases there is more collisions so pressure increases and because of the faster speed temperature increases. Is that right?"
"It is!" I clapped, leaning forward so our faces were inches apart. "Here's your reward!"
I gently pressed my lips against his, not wanting it to be too passionate so he could get back to studying and have time for me later. But when he added pressure, god did I not want to pull away.
When I did though, I was quick to come up with a cheeky chemistry themed response to get him to ditch the books for a while. "Hey Scott, you remember the three stages in a reaction? Initial, reaction, and equilibrium? Okay so here's one: what would I have to do as an initial thing to get you to react so we can be at equilibrium and make out?"
"Mitch, that's not how it works... but damn it I'm too lazy to even think about it." He stood up from his chair and crawled onto his bed next to me. "Screw studying. Chemistry can wait, but I need you right now."
