It started with a late night of drinking.
By 1 AM I had down a full bottle of wine by myself. I wasn’t lonely, or sad, or anything along those lines. I was just having a night to let myself be pampered, and it’s not my fault that a hot bubble bath and a cold glass of wine go so well together. Scott was in Texas to be with his sister and niece, and although I wanted desperately to be with him, I was taking advantage of having the apartment to myself.
Anyways, even after having a delicious frozen pizza for dinner, I was absolutely starving right before I wanted to just crash on the couch and not wake up until late the next day. God, I must be becoming Scott, I’m eating so much.
I went to the kitchen and rummaged the cupboards for a while. My stomach was craving something sweet that took minimal efforts to prepare. A jumbo-sized box of double stuf Oreos caught my attention from the corner of my eye. I knew that it would be out of line to take them, and the yellow post-it note dictating ‘property of S.H.’ proved a second warning. But hey, I was hungry, and I definitely was going to have those Oreos.
---
Scott got home a week later, but it took several days for that double stuf craving to kick in.
“Hey, Martha, can you come here for a second?” he called from the kitchen. I groaned from my spot on the couch. There were very little things worth more than being curled up on the couch, nice and warm, but Scott was definitely one of them.
“Yeah, one second.” I was the opposite of graceful as I got up, tripping over the multitude of blankets I was wrapped in. Now that Scott was back, the temperature in our apartment was back to just above freezing, so I kept a blanket wrapped around my shoulders to meet him in the kitchen.
He was standing in front of an open cupboard, his arms crossed over his chest. “Did you eat my Oreos while I was gone?”
Oh shit.
I played it off as nothing, feigning innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Hopefully he wouldn’t notice how I had my hands clasped together to prevent them from trembling like usual when I lie.
“Oh, really, you don’t? Well then I guess it must have been Wyatt that ate them. Be right back, I’m going to refill.”
---
The shenanigan happened three more times within the following month. I would wake up late at night with a craving, and sneak off from Scott’s arms to the kitchen. It was not only satisfying to steal his stuff, but it also gave me a thrill that was just indescribable.
I walked into the living room one morning to find Scott already settled into his spot on the couch, the TV softly blaring morning cartoons. I passed right by him to the kitchen to prepare myself a cup of coffee, since I was especially tired this morning.
I should have seen the trouble beforehand. I mean, there was the empty cookie box that I had stupidly put back set on the counter. I still walked into the living room, unsuspecting of the evidence Scott had gathered against me.
“Morning Mitchie, you want to come look at this?” he offered sweetly from his spot across the room. I sat next to him and snuggled into his side. “I set up a camera in the kitchen because the cookie thief was becoming out of control. Have anything to confess or should I just play the video?” I shook my head. I was in trouble now. The clip he had opened on his laptop was me tiptoeing into the kitchen and promptly stuffing my face with the cookies, a trail of chocolate dust lingering on my lips.
I couldn’t decide what was more embarrassing: the fact that I was a cookie thief, that I was a caught cookie thief, or that my boyfriend saw me disgustingly shove an entire row of double stuf Oreos down my throat. I must’ve had a look of absolute horror on my face, because the room erupted in Scott’s giggles.
“C’mere babe, you’re not in trouble.” He reached around my waist and pulled me onto his lap, kissing my forehead.
“Seriously? You’re not mad?” It was suspicious that he had gone through all the trouble of catching me in the act and confronting me about it without any reason… unless he wanted to embarrass me.
“Nope, just wanted to see if you would confess. I’m keeping that video to show our kids one day though.” He grinned wide, probably just thinking of the two of us being parents. “But seriously, the cookies are off limits.”
