ELYSIAN, the riordanverse

36

Author's Note: So, I wrote this short little dialogue piece but I wanted to show you guys this -

I WROTE THIS FOREVER AGO, i- HOW GAY COULD I GET? SHE HAD A NICE VOICE? I CAN'T- but also, my spelling of "pitched" just has me like 🥺... What the heck guys, I can't. Also, don't mind my handwriting, I wrote this when I was like six or seven. This is the only thing I wrote in the notebook but still. "SHE HAD A REALLY NICE VOICE." I JUST CANNOT WITH HOW FUNDAMENTALLY GAY THAT IS-

But on to the oneshot! (Also, was it required to write a Christmas oneshot? I didn't feel like it, so I didn't but if you guys want me too, please ask!)

***

'THALIA!' 

'What do you want, little bro?'

'Why are there eleven and twelve year old girls sitting on the couch?'

'Because they're hunters.'

'So they're just allowed to be here?'

'Artemis told me to keep an eye on them while she was out for a meeting in Olympus.'

'And you couldn't have, oh I don't know, stay in the woods like you always do?'

'Oh forgive me, brother dearest, I just wanted to give the girls a little fun. We're always in the woods.'

'Yeah. Because you're the hunters of Artemis.'

'Whatever, bro.'

'Oh alright, fine. But what am I even supposed to do with them?'

'I don't know − just give them some hot chocolate or some snacks or something.'

'Hot chocolate? To a bunch of girls who I'm sure have only ever had meat and vegetables in their entire immortal lives?'

'Yeah, Jason. Just feed them something. They'll be fine.'

'They'll be fine? They're playing with the dart board. And now they pierced the wall.'

'Oh my gods, just calm down Jason. It's only for a little while.'

'Ah, fine. I'll calm down and feed them something because I'm such a good brother.'

'And such a good host, of course.'

'Right, right. Idiotic sister of mine.'

'I HEARD THAT YOU LITTLE SHIT.'

'I'M TALLER THAN YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT.'

'BUT I'M OLDER.'

'BUT YOU WERE A TREE FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS SO IT DOESN'T COUNT.'

'I TOLD YOU NEVER TO BRING THAT UP.'

'I DON'T CARE!'

'What are you feeding them?'

'Hot chocolate, marshmallows and graham crackers.'

'Well, can I have some?'

'Absolutely not.'

'Oh come on, Jase!'

'No, Thalia. You had like the whole pack of marshmallows yesterday. Hell no.'

'Language, Mr. Grace.'

'Oh says the girl who says, "Fuck, fuck, FUCK." a million times a day.'

'Don't say that in front of the girls.'

'They're not actually eleven, you do know that, right Thals?'

'Of course I know that, you doofus, but still!'

'Right, "but still"... And anyway, I wasn't the one who cursed. I was simply impersonating you.'

'Mhm, just give me the graham crackers.'

'No.'

'So I don't get any but the hunters can eat how much ever they want.'

'It's called being a good host.'

'I'm a hunter of Artemis too − so give me the crackers.'

'Technically, sis, you're the lieutenant of the hunters of Artemis. So, no crackers or marshmallows for you.'

'But I can have the hot chocolate?'

'No!'

'But you just said-'

'NO HOT CHOCOLATE EITHER.'

'OH COME ON-'

'Could you two like, shut up?'

'No − sorry I don't know what your name is.'

'Absolutely not, Robin!'

'Ugh, fine.'

'So, tell me, Jason, why are you being so rude today?'

'Because you're the one who wouldn't let me have any of the hot chocolate yesterday, Thalia.'

'So I don't get hot chocolate today because I didn't let you have any yesterday?'

'Yes.'

'Well that's stupid.'