His Beta of Submission

twelve

I sat in the car as we were back in the castle. Stellan watched me intently even though I was at a loss for words. There was nothing I had to say...nothing at all.

Trenton was still making noise behind us and I wished he'd just...stop. Why did he have to make things so much more worse? I just want peace...and to get this debt done. I can't even do that properly.

"I've failed..." I whimper, my lips trembling and I see Stellan hand me my car keys.

"You didn't fail. What makes you think that?" Stellan questions me harshly, slamming his hand on the steering wheel. "I only saw you once and I can already decipher that you seem to be getting the harsh end of the stick."

"The harsh end of the stick, huh?" I whisper, seeing Stellan's eyes soften on me. "Why are you even here? Why am I sitting in a car with all of you?! I shouldn't be in this predicament!"

I find myself beginning to cry in frustration. There was sadness present because I...was hurt by the person I loved.

I felt like my heart was on fire. Why did it hurt so much?

It was like the realization that the person I love will never be the same...and we can never go back to before - hit me harder than ever. It was too painful and I wanted to collapse from the pain.

"Theodore-."

"It's just Theo." I interrupt Stellan, and he sighs in understanding. I look at Trenton and saw him glaring at me. "I can't do this..."

I rushed out of the car, running into the castle. Didn't care about the people I was passing and completely avoided anyone. All I wanted to do was cry and be alone.

I still couldn't see out of my left eye. I pray...that I heal quick enough so that Remi doesn't see it. It would break my heart to lie to him about such a thing.

I get to the room and open the door, thankful that I made it here without problem. Only for me to close the door and I lean my head against it.

My breathing was becoming rushed as I tried to calm down. My heart was broken even more and I knew that I would never be with him again. Never even realized that there was a small...part of me that hoped we'd go back to what we used to be.

I hoped to pay the debt - and then go to him. Keeping the secret of how I paid it off...all to myself.

Now that's not even an option. Never ever going to be an option. The fact that I thought it could be an option showed how crazy I was.

I had to catch my breath, but I couldn't grasp it. All I felt was the pain on my face, but the most prevalent was the pain in my heart.

"Where is Theo!" I hear Ezra shriek, and I gasp. I stand up and am quick to lock the door. Perfect timing because I saw the knob begin to twist repeatedly.

I don't know why I was so nervous, but Ezra sounded so angry. He told me not to get hurt and I did. What does that mean for me?

"Theo?"

I was surprised by Ezra's soft voice, wondering if I heard that correctly.

"Y-yes?" I stammer, walking closer to the door now.

"Can you open the door please?" He begs me almost, making me feel like I needed to. I felt horrible and I...wanted a hug.

If Remi was here and I'd give him a million hugs. He always made me feel better with his smile...with his precious hugs. He's not here right now...I can't get that ease.

"If I open the door..." I whimper, walking towards it as I found myself crying more. "Can you give me a hug? I...failed you. I ended up getting hurt and didn't do what you asked of me. I don't want to be punished - I just want a hug."