Ateez Ships BoyxBoy Oneshots

Jongsang (angst with fluff at the end) ~Talk to Me~ pt.2

The two arrived at the apartment and walked through the front door.

Jongho had his own place ever since around 5 months ago when him and Yeosang decided that his home life wasn't the best for him. His household was a very toxic environment and he always had to fight to claw his way out. To be in his junior year of high school, he put in hours, days, weeks, months of hard work to be able to afford rent. Yeosang would help him out with other necessities as well, since he had a job too, but he was still in his senior year and living with his parents because he didn't have a reason to live on his own yet.

The males kicked off their shoes at the front door.

"Let's go get you cleaned up Choi" the older said, walking down the short hallway that led to the bathroom.

"Lead the way Mr. Kang" the taller voiced with a chuckle.

The boyfriends were currently in the bathroom, Jongho siting on the toilet seat lid, and Yeosang going through the medicine cabinet to retrieve a first aid kit. He opened the container to take out a small towel to put some water on it to dampen it.  He walked over to his lover, standing in between his legs.

"This is gonna feel uncomfortable okay?" the older said. He wasn't necessarily sure why because this had happened many times before.

The male sitting down just nodded, allowing the other to rid his face of all the half dried blood. Yeosang started wiping the blood off of his boyfriend's face, trying to be mindful of the many cuts and bruises that spread across it. He then proceeded to wipe off the blood on Jongho's knuckles, having the disturbing thought in his head that it wasn't even Jongho's blood. Once that was finished, he grabbed onto the other's face with one hand, moving it side to side to make sure all the red liquid was gone.

He went over to the sink again, rinsing off the rag and grabbing some soap, anti bacterial cream and bandages. It took about 30 minutes to tend to all of Jongho's injuries before Yeosang was beginning to apply the bandages. While doing so, his mind was still running wild with unanswered questions.

"Jongho?" the shorter said, suddenly loosening the latter from the trance he's been in since they've gotten into the bathroom.

"Yeah?" the other answered, wincing a bit at Yeosang applying a bandage to one of his cuts.

"Can you tell me now why you got into a fight with Jin?"

The younger let out a deep sigh. He had hoped that he wouldn't be asked that question again, or any questions regarding the fight, but clearly, luck was not in his side. He placed his bruised hands on the hips of the male standing in front of him, squeezing them gently and looking up at the other.

"I thought I told you not to talk about it."

"But it needs to be talked about. You told me you would ease up on the fighting and-"

"I know Yeosang, but it's not as easy as you make it seem to be. You can't just have the instinct to fight every obstacle in your way one day, and just be a complete pussy the next."

"You not fighting and choosing to have self control doesn't make you a 'pussy', it makes you mature" the older replied with his arms interlocked with each other, looking down at the other, eye to eye

Jongho took his hands off of Yeosang's waist while looking at him in disbelief. "So now I'm not mature? You know what I've been through. I've gone through the deepest pits of hell in that house, with those people. You know why I'm like this. You know that it's hard to change my habits over night."

"No, I'm not saying that you aren't mature. And yes, I know Jongho. I cant even begin to imagine what you've gone through, but the way you described it to me, sounds worse than any hell. Jongho, I want to be here for you, but you keep shutting me out. All I want you to do is talk to me. Just tell me what's going on inside your head."

"I don't want to talk. You already know how I am. Don't act new to this. You're always trying to pry. I can't do everything you expect me to do. I can't be someone you expect me to be."

"Are you joking? I am not trying to pry and you know I'd never force you to do something you don't want to" the latter responded with his eyebrows furrowed, before returning into a loving look again, trying to ease the situation. "I know you don't want to talk but it could help. And I don't expect you to be anybody else except Jongho. But what happens when one day you meet your match and get hurt beyond repair? I know you sometimes don't feel the need to talk to me about what you're feeling, and I get it, but I can't just sit and watch you deteriorate from the inside out. Do you have any idea how much you mean to me? I love you too much to watch you destroy yourself Jongho."

To say that Jongho was shocked was a severe understatement. He knew that the other and him had feelings for each other, they were boyfriends after all, but he didn't expect those words to slip from the latter. His mind was tumbling with confusion as he wasn't sure of what to do or say. Since the day they had met, Yeosang had always taken care of him, even though Jongho was a lot more protective. He wanted to push away from him, not wanting that type of attention but he couldn't. Something about him drew him in, not planning to let go anytime soon. But now that the confession from the older was out, he couldn't think of anything except to think that he would eventually hurt his boyfriend in the long run.

Yeosang was trying to look Jongho in his eyes, only for the other to look away and stare at the blank bathroom wall as a distraction. The younger didn't say anything.

"So you're just not going to speak to me? Especially after I've said that?"

More silence from the other.

"Fine" the older said, backing away. "I'll go then. Maybe you want to be alone right now but when you get that big ass head of yours out of your ass, let me know."

With that, Yeosang walked out of the bathroom, gathered his shoes and backpack, and slammed the apartment door behind him. As much as he tried, he couldn't stop the few tears from suddenly running out of his eyes and onto his face. He wiped them away ferociously, not allowing for anymore to come out. He didn't want to be affected by what just happened, but how couldn't he? He loves Jongho with all of his heart and it's hard for the older to see him going through these things. It was hard for him to express his feelings, only to get silence in return. But what hurt even more, was that the younger didn't even feel like he could talk to his own boyfriend. He understood that not everybody wants to talk about their problems, and because of that, he couldn't do anything else.

Yeosang decided to go to his bestfriend's house, knowing that he needed to vent and to get it out.

Meanwhile, Jongho was thinking; thinking about what the other said to him, thinking about how he reacted, thinking about how he should've reacted. He was pissed off at himself. He let the way he feels about things in life get in the way of something special. Yeosang was the only one in his life who genuinely cared about him, who actually loved him, and he managed to screw things up. And the overwhelming guilt that he was feeling was not making it better. Yeosang had always been a tough person, but Jongho saw a crack in his surface because of what happened. Yeosang's words were playing over and over in his head.

'What happens when one day you meet your match, and get hurt beyond repair?', I have met my match. It's you, you are my weakness. 'You don't try to talk to me about what you're feeling, and I get it', I want to talk about it sometimes but I don't know how to. 'Do you know how much you mean to me?', I didn't before, but I do now. 'I love you', I love you too.