I need you //klance

Part 38

After a few lengthy 'discussions', most of which Lance and Keith had managed to sneak away from, they had decided to gather more info first. Even then, there wasn't much to find about him and anything they did find was too vague or outdated to be considered insightful. However, they had come to a conclusion. They simply didn't have enough information to engage him and didn't even have all the lions in working condition so they would struggle to free an active Galran Planet. Instead they were going to carry on with normal Voltron stuff that didn't necessarily require all five lions.

It was one of these missions that Lance, Keith and Hunk had just come back from. Hunk had spent most of the mission trying to fill the quiet on the comms. Keith still seemed pretty shaken up by his new role while Lance had muted himself. Hunk had assumed that it had been an accident at first but now had the impression that Keith's loss of Red had given him the urge to reconnect, in a sense, with his own lion.

When they made it back to the castle, they didn't say much to each other, just a few nods and smiles as they separated. Lance was the last to come out. He waited for Hunk to leave before falling into pace beside behind Keith.

Keith turned, feeling a light tug on the fabric of his undersuit.
"Lance?" Keith tried to his best to lighten his face but even he could tell it wasn't convincing. Lance sighed and smile slightly, allowing his hand to drift down Keith's arm, gripping his hand gently.
He stepped out in front of the new Black Paladin and squeezed his hand again.
"Keith, I need you to talk to me... about anything. I just need to talk to you."
Keith tensed up, his eyes studied Lance's for any guidance or hints. Lance smiled back.
"I feel like I should have come up with a topic first. I'm sorry."
Keith shook his head, readjusting his hold on Lance's smaller hand. "No, it's alright!" He smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, "Er- what about..." Keith trailed off, bringing his free hand to fiddle with his collar absentmindedly. Lance giggled, pulling Keith into the changing rooms.

Lance let go of his hand to pull off his armor leaving them both in just their under suits. They settled on the bench nearest to wall as the mood turned more serious. Lance took Keith's hand back in his own and began playing with it as he arranged his thoughts. "Keith... How are you feeling? Please, tell the truth."
Keith's hand twitched in Lance's before he leant his head on top of his blue paladin's.
"I-"
"And if you're going to say 'I don't know' then... I could help you figure that out. Just please don't shut me out."
Keith nodded against his shoulder. He didn't want to lie to him and in all honesty he didn't think he could. He only had to tell him some of it and not lose it. No tears.

He breathed out slowly and began speaking, compromising to keep his face hidden.
"I... feel like everything's going too fast but too slow at the same time. It- It's not just that Shiro's gone again or that Red didn't want me anymore," his voice had cracked and he had started shaking, "Or that I'm Galra," Lance tightened his grip on his hand and stretched his other arm round his back, "Lance do you know how many people we've killed? I don't.. What if being Galra didn't make me a monster-"
"It didn't"
"What if I'm becoming a monster. I- I don't know anything about them. But they took Shiro- And did so many horrible things to him... And-and if Black picked me doesn't that she doesn't have a paladin anymore. Doesn't that mean Shiro's-" Tears were falling freely now. 

Lance adjusted his half- hug and burrowed his face into Keith's hair.

He hadn't even thought of that. Just how much more was Keith keeping bottled up? How had he let him feel so alone?

"Buddy.." Lance lifted his head to watch Keith as he fiddled with his hair and gently wiped his tears, "Hear me out. Zarkon's been alive this whole time, right? And Black still picked Shiro even though her other Paladin was still alive... So Black picking you now wouldn't mean that Shiro's gone."

"B-but."

"No. There's no buts, sure he could still be gone but the lion switch doesn't prove that-"

"But he could be dead and we never know. We could just be stuck looking for him forever but if we stop he might be alive and we just gave up on him and left him to die." Keith was refusing to meet his eyes anymore. Lance was faintly aware of his own eyes filling up with tears. He tipped Keith's chin to reveal his tear stained face, smiling wetly at him before wrapping him in a tighter hug.

"Honestly.. I don't know how to fix any of this... but I'm never going to leave you, Samurai, as long as you still want me... and it's the same with everyone else." 

Despite Keith's previous resolve to sleep on his own from now on, after what had happened with Lance it seemed that his body automatically lead him to his Blue Paladin's room that night. The Cuban had let him in wordlessly and the two of them settled into bed as if it were the most normal thing in the world to them, which Keith happily realised it was. 

Keith had awoken enveloped in warmth. He gathered that it some point in the early morning but he could never really tell in space. Blearily, he shifted positions and rolled his face into Lance's smooth shoulder. Keith blushed as he took in the salty caramel scent. He'd noticed that his sense of smell had gotten a lot better since his Blade trial. 

Lance was burrowed into his side with his arms strewn across him. He was still deeply sleeping. Keith smiled. This was probably the most relaxed he'd seen him in a while. Despite all his jokes and humour, it was clear that the stress had been piling up on him. The Korean melted into his arms, enjoying the feeling of air filling his lungs and Lance's messy hair against his neck, relishing the quiet of his brain.