Lost Beginnings

6. Please

11/31 Dear Diary, 

I don't understand where I went wrong, why is tommy ignoring me?

                                -Y/N

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I woke up from another restless night of nightmares. Days are becoming longer and harder. I stepped outside to get fresh air when I noticed Tubbo waiting for me. I sighed knowing whats coming next. 

"Hey y/n" Tubbo said as he approached me, "How did you sleep?" I looked at him with a tired look, bags under my eyes, and messy hair. "Oh, not so great I see. Uh- um, well I was hoping we could talk? You know..about what happened the other night?" 

"Tubbo I-" as I was about to speak tubbo interrupted, "Im really sorry that happened and I don't know what got to me. It's like whenever i'm around with you, I get so nervous but-but bold. I just feel like I could let loose around you and I know you wouldn't judge me for it." Tubbo finished his rant with a smile on his face, hoping to get one back.

 I looked at him with another tired look. "Tubbo, look. As much as I enjoyed it, we can't be focusing on that right now. You're my best friend and partner in crime, and with everything that's going on with Tommy right now, i'm not sure um..me and you can happen. Do you get me?" I finished.

 Tubbos smile dropped, "Oh..um yea I understand." He gave a weak smile. "I'll see you later Tubbo," I gave him a hug and went back inside so I can get ready. 

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As I was walking to Nikis and Puffy flower shop I happened to see Tommy walking towards me as well. I gave a big smile even though I was exhausted, "Hey tommy!" He walked completely past me. "Wha-" I said in confusion. I looked back and saw he had his head down, sorta like if he was trying to....avoid me? I shook it off and continued walking. "That was weird..' I said to myself."

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As I was setting up the flowers with Niki and Puffy, I told them everything that happened today. My encounter with Tommy and my conversation with Tubbo. 

"Well did he seem mad when he walked past you?" Niki asked. "That's the weird part, he didn't. He just kept on walking as if I didn't exist." "That is weird." Puffy said, "Maybe he thought it was weird that he saw two of his best friends kissing?" Niki added. "No no, he seemed very mad when he saw me and Tubbo. I don't know what wrong with him. Did I do something wrong?" 

"Oh! No love! You didn't do a single thing wrong." Niki exclaimed. "Boys are just like that. They get jealous so easily." 

"Jealous? Why would Tommy be jealous?" I asked.

"Maybe he likes you." Puffy added. "pftt. No. Way. Theres not a single thing in the world to why Tommy would like me." 

"Well, think about it. He got mad because you and tubbo kissed. He avoided you today because he knows that you like tubbo and but you don't like him." Puffy said.

I thought about it. Could Tommy be potentially jealous? Was that why he was avoiding me today? No. No no. snap out of it y/n, you're better than this. 

I shrugged and continued planting flowers.

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Boom. A loud explosion went off and the ground rumbled. L'manberg was destroyed. Everything we put our heart into was gone. Phil emerged from the smoke with Wilbur's lifeless body in his arms. I was broken. Techno was ranting about government and power but I was too focused on Wilbur, until I heard a yell. My attention is drawn to Techno, as his sword slid out of tubbo's torso, tubbo fell to his side. I quickly run over to tubbo and adjust him to where his head is in my hands. "Tubbo...please." I tear from my face fell to his. "Im sorry..y/n." And with that I saw his eye roll back and his life leave his body.

Then I woke up. I woke up screaming. I was drenched in sweat. I looked at my surroundings, hoping that I wasn't in that place. I looked down to make sure Tubbo's lifeless body wasn't there when suddenly Tubbo burst in through my door. 

"Y/N?! Y/N ARE YOU OKAY?" Tubbo exclaimed with concern. I looked at him and sobbed. He came over to me and pulled me into a hug, where I cried and cried. "It-it was you. You were gone. Y- you were dead tubbo!" I sobbed as I pulled him closer and buried my face into his chest to silence my loud sobbing. 

"It's okay..it's okay y/n..Im right here." Tubbo reassured me. He rubbed my back while his chin laid on my head. I cried until I eventually passed out. 

I woke up in my bed with a blanket over me. I remembered what happened last night and immediately scanned my room in panic in search for tubbo. "Good morning." Tubbo said softly. 

I looked behind me and saw him sitting in chair. I wave of relief flew over me and I was at peace again. 

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PHEW i almost cried writing that last part ngl LOLLLL