srndpty. --> a jared and drea fanfic

Part 6

Dear Diary,

Maybe it's time I start to accept the fact that I'm an idiot for waiting so long for something that was part of my childhood fantasies. 

---

"Promise me you'll give people a chance."

Those words echoed in her head over and over again while she's laying on her mattress and staring at the ceiling with her diamond ring blocking the view.

Drea's not a fan of expensive things. She's proud to have been raised as a just child and not someone who's spoiled of riches. This ring doesn't mean a thing to her, the value doesn't bother her. She could easily throw this in the river and pay for it.

However, the thing that haunts her right now is the promise she made to Jared two days ago.

To give people a chance.

Who is she kidding? She's not even thinking about the engagement. For sure her father will lend them time to know each other well and he's not a fan of rushing things. Just like what she said to Jared, the heart being broken kf afraid is not a cause for it to lose the ability to love. That's gonna be the same thing for her. Who knows? Maybe that guy can have a place in her hoping heart, too.

But back to it. The chance she's pertaining to is about someone who broke her trust and risked her life. 

Her biological mother. Her own mother.

Lately, she feels like she's been giving her a chance. She was talking to her but never really did mind if she'd call or not. She's cold towards her and she's not the one to blame for that. The only reason she keeps in touch with that woman is because the mom that raised her requested so. 

She's doing it, giving her a chance to talk to her. But how about the chance to be the person she was once to her before? Should she risk that?

Forgiveness is a difficult thing to give. What more to a person who did an unforgivable thing to her? That woman had her trust and she didn't even have to give it, yet it got broken. She trusted her since the first heartbeat of her life but now... things are different.

Releasing a long sigh, she sat up and breathed again. Her eyes caught the gigantic wall clock that posed beside the curtains that allowed a little moonlight to enter her dark room. It's 3:15 in the morning, almost approaching dawn. Usually, she sleeps early especially when she's exhausted and well-spent for the day. But when something like this bogs her mind, she'll be up until the thoughts come off, and normally, they don't. Her only escape from the ugly side of her life is that diary of hers. Unfortunately, she doesn't have it around now. It would be weird for a grown-up woman to take her teenage diary in trips like this. 

She had that diary since she learned to start writing. All of her special days are written there and that's basically her best friend, knowing every secret she hides. Her mom would sneak in her room and read it late at night, expecting a story about a hot football player she met at school, a campus heartthrob who asked her out for prom, her crush or a boyfriend maybe but there was none. Written there are the tales of Drea Samantha Mikami, the girl who seemed to have a perfect life and a perfect self in front of the others, but the truth is she's been trying to fit in all these years. Trying to be the perfect girl they all see her to be. But she's not and never will be. 

People fancied her, of course. For her beauty, her laugh, her wit and humor. But if she fancied people? Not much. That's why if there's any special subject or romantic view about the day? It's always about him. The only one she ever liked being with.