Losing Game/// James Potter

Chapter 29

James woke up in a panic at 2am that same night. Everything had happened so fast that he didn't even process the fact that he just had sex with his best friend until now, and that if Lily found out then his chances with her would be gone forever. He slowly sat up from bed, not wanting to make Elsie wake up, and ran his hands through his hair frustratedly as thoughts from the previous night spun through his head.

He groaned in frustration with his hands still entangled in his hair, causing Elsie to shift in her sleep. James looked down as his thankfully still sleeping best friend, and felt an immediate pang of guilt course through him. He didn't deserve Elsie. She had been nothing but amazing to him, and what does he do? Lose his self control around her. What is she going to think about me? What is Lily going to think of me?

James suddenly felt the need to get out of his room, not wanting to deal with the guilt that was swallowing him. He couldn't leave her alone, not after what he had done. But right now, he felt like he lost all control around her and needed to get his mind back in the right place. He stepped off of the bed and left the room to go make some tea in the kitchen, fully intending on coming back before Elsie got up.

Elsie woke up about a hour later at 3am, not being able to fully sleep because of what had happened. When her eyes fluttered open, she looked to her left and saw that James was nowhere to be found. Her heart sank in her chest at the realization that he was gone. Elsie didn't regret last night with James, but he thought it was a mistake. Of course he did, he has his Lily-flower. She felt her eyes rim with tears and the reality of everything set in.

Unrequited love flurried through her body as a tear dropped down her cheek. I'm never good enough for him, and I never will be. It's Lily and James...

She stood up from her bed ignoring the sore feeling in between her legs, knowing she needs something to keep her mind off of the fact that she will never amount to anything more than James' best friend. Just like what happened with Rory in the past, love has once again screwed her over. Love would always be a losing game for her.

So, with another shattered heart and tears staining her cheeks, she made her way over to Sirius' room and opened his door. She barged into the dark room and started rummaging around for the one thing that had always distracted Sirius whenever he was stressed out.

At hearing the scattered noises in his room, a shirtless Sirius immediately sat up and rubbed his eyes, while sleepily calling out, "Els, is that you?"

"Yes," she answered simply, not wanting to say anymore and reveal the emotions brewing within her. If she did, she knew she would have to explain everything to him.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here...," he trailed off in a raspy voice while looking at his alarm clock, "It's fucking 3 in the morning."

Elsie ignored his question and continued searching around in the dark for exactly what she was looking for. When her hands finally gripped onto a small rectangular box, she turned around to walk out of his door once again. But when she did, Sirius had turned on the lights and was standing in front of the door. She froze in her spot as a sleepy, shirtless Sirius studied her. He noticed that her eyes were swollen with tears, her neck was covered in dark marks, and in her hand was a tiny pack of cigarettes.

As soon as he caught sight of this, he ran over to the girl and placed his hands on either side of her cheeks. He looked her straight in the eyes and whispered, "Fuck, Els. What happened?"

Elsie once again ignored her question, but not because she didn't want to answer him. She physically couldn't bring herself to speak without letting out a stream of emotions with it.

Noticing her silence, Sirius attempted to grab the pack of cigarettes from her hand, but only failed after she screamed no at him.

"No, Sirius. Please, just let me smoke one," she pleaded with the boy as a singular tear slipped from her eyes.