43. Boy/Man

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I feel something scratching my eyes

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I feel something scratching my eyes. The sun. It's the sun and its light. No, I refuse to open my burning eyes. They are too heavy, it's like my eyelids are glued. But feeling the light on my skin instead of the darkness feels good. Almost good. I barely open my eyes, frowning and being blinded by the light. I scan the place where I'm, confused. Then I see a whole mess I made last night. Last night. I went through hell last night. No, I'm still there, stuck there, punching the door of heaven and praying them to open it and let me in, but they are not responding and I'm being pulled by my demons and thrown in front of the legs of the devil himself. This is how I was feeling last night. And I still feel this type of way, with my dizzy head and burning eyes.

I look around to see that I'm laying on the floor in the middle of shattered pieces of bottles. We resemble me and those pieces. I take one piece of the glass and look at it. I tilt my head and close my eyes when the light of the sun blurs my vision and causes my eyes to water.

"You and me. We resemble. You can't be fixed. Neither can I." I'm drunk. I'm still drunk. Who speaks to a broken piece of glass? Exactly, either no one or a drunk man.

I get up and of course, my foot couldn't avoid all the mess and stepped right into broken pieces. I press my other foot on them. I trample them. I walk around trampling them, feeling powerful. I can trample them just like my father trampled me. I jump on them and then I feel something.

"Fuck!" Guess karma is a bitch. I take off my boot to see my foot in blood. Motherfucking glass.

Blood. It reminds me of something. Of someone.

A brief flashback from the last night plays in my head. Me and her. Me and her fighting. Me pushing her. Oh my God, did I hurt her? The next picture is her crying and pushing me. Then she slaps the door and leaves.

"Bro?", I snap from my trance to see my brother looking at me worried, with dark bags underneath his brown eyes.

"She left?", I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Yes", he whispers, probably scared of my reaction.

"Did I hurt her?", my voice trembling as I ask this question.

"I dunno. I... um..." I know that he's scratching the back of his neck even without looking.

"Why did you call her?" I look at him, frowning and squeezing my fist.

"I..."

"Why did you call her?", I hiss rushing and grabbing him by his collar.

"Bro..."

"Don't you know that no one can fix me?", I growl. "Don't you know that I break everything I touch? Every. Thing."

I loosen the grip and feel tears appearing on my tired face. "Don't you see..." I kneel.

Star and its darkness (Book 1 in the Darkness&Brightness series)Where stories live. Discover now