50. My father broke my heart

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I can't get used to being 17 now

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I can't get used to being 17 now. It's been a week since my birthday. I'm still wearing Myles' necklace and I think I'm going to keep it forever. It means so much to me. Just the fact that he found out about my birthday, even though I tried to hide is the kindest.

Michael on the other side feels bad for not giving me anything. But he doesn't realize that he is my gift and his dedication and caring, as well as understanding, is exactly what I need and not some expensive gift.

I'm not the person who wants presents. His apology was everything I needed. He is everything I need. Just his lips, his body, his tattoos, his soft skin, and his dimples on both sides of his perfect face. Simply just him. No gifts are needed. But to be honest I consider the nose ring as a gift. And I like it.

It is just that it hurts a little and it inches...A LOT.

Chloe and I didn't sort things out. I mean it's not her who is mad at me. But actually, it's neither me who is mad at her, it's just that I'm disappointed. I thought that she was gonna keep my darkest secret. But unfortunately, she didn't.

I kept avoiding her in school just as I avoided Maya. That bitch keeps sending me death glares. Ugh, and don't think that I didn't return them.

Now, I don't have any friends. I have Myles and I have Michael. Plus glares from everyone from the gang and the school. The difference is that one of them is pitiful which I despise, but others are dead like Maya's and Justin's.

Looks like some guys from the gang realized what kind of monster Christopher was, but some of them still haven't. And I know why. Because they are just like him (read Justin). But I still have a weapon to use against him and I will save it until he doesn't open his dirty mouth. No matter how much I want to reveal his true colors I'm going to wait for the right moment.

But, now is Alexia happy? Well, maybe she has money and Justin who can pleasure her since obviously she only loves her husband's money, but maybe she isn't happy? We'll never know. No, no, Stella, you're again just being a naive girl. They are all bitches and sons of a bitches.

But Chloe isn't, my mind adds.

Yeah, she isn't. Okay, maybe there are some people who are damaged just like me. But I'm not going to let myself be burnt by others, just because I'm not sure who's and who's not a broken soul. I can't guess that and that's why I'm going to stick with Myles and Michael and don't let other people fuck my life more them it already has been.

I shouldn't have let Chloe see my vulnerability. If I hadn't done that I wouldn't have been embarrassed whenever I walk through the school halls and receive all those pitiful and dead glares. But that is what it could have been, not how actually it is. I can only imagine what could have been if I wasn't being naive and lonely and had a little hope that I can finally let a little burden off my chest by saying someone how it hurts. But guess, that I chose the wrong person as always.

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