39. That Day

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Today is finally that day

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Today is finally that day. The day when Christopher will be sent to a juvenile center.

I couldn't sleep the whole night. I was staring at the ceiling and thinking how the whole school now knows that I was raped. And I couldn't take all those pitiful looks. And even worse I couldn't bring myself to say that and report Christopher. I couldn't. I can't. I want to, but I can't. And I didn't speak to Chloe, because it was all her fault. If she hadn't told Maya, then no one would have known. My secret would be safe. Just like her secret is safe with me.

I grab some black jeans and a hoodie in the same color because I have to look decent since I'm going to court. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I look broken. And he's going to see that. He's going to see that he broke me. And I can't stand that. I don't want to even see him, but I have to support Myles. It was my fault they fought in the first place. All of this was my fault. So at least I can go there and support him since I know how bad he must be feeling.

I didn't put make-up on my dark circles, even though I wanted to. I didn't brush my messy hair, even though I wanted to. I can't stop staring at my broken frame. I wanted to put my pieces together, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Guess, that's the demon in me, trying to kill me. And guess I'll let him do it. The knock at the door snaps me out of my dark thoughts.

"Are you ready?", Myles asks me, as he steps closer to me.

I look at him, trying not to cry. But when he wipes something with his thumb, I realize that it was the tears.

 But when he wipes something with his thumb, I realize that it was the tears

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"Are you ready?", I ask her, but I see her looking at the mirror. She is not moving and I can see that she is upset.

And how would not she be? She is going to see him again and that is going to bring her back so many bad memories. I wish I could erase them all.

She looks at me and I can see her beautiful eyes watering. I step closer and wipe the tears that seep from her eyes. Beautiful eyes which hold so much pain and who are calling me for help. Just like they were calling me so many times, but I was too blind to see it. I embrace her and fondle her messy hair.

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