[High school romance]
Bad boy x bad girl
Stella Max is a bad girl. She doesn't have hope anymore after her mom left her, commiting suicide.
Michael Henson is a bad boy. He's father is busy, rich, famous attorney and he wants Michael to become one. B...
"My body is a cage that keeps me dancing with the one I love, but my mind holds the key" - Arcade Fire, song My body is a cage
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When she left I felt like shit. I told myself not to let her run from me, to catch her. But I did just that- I let her run from me. She slipped out of my hands and I didn't do anything about that.
I couldn't sleep that night. My eyes couldn't close. I could only see her. Her smile, her pink hair, fear in her green eyes. Now I knew. Now I knew who caused that fear. I thought when I found her secret out, that I'd let her go. But, I didn't know that something would continue pulling me to her. Why? What is that? Why do I want to be next to her? Why do I want to keep her safe? So many why-s. But no answers.
I continued to question the universe why it brought us together. Why some girl had to come into my life and turn it upside down? Some girl to mess with my feelings. To wake up my feelings. I spent more than three months shutting them down. Just for some girl with pink highlights to wake them up? I only had to look into her green eyes and doubt my whole life. And then all the memories and all emotions I thought I killed just showed up out of nowhere. She just appeared and threw all of my effort to water. Why? I don't think that I would get an answer. Even though I want to know the reason for bringing her into my fucked up life.
I spent the whole night like this. Back and forth with these questions with no answers. My eyes were red because of fatigue, but it's not either the first or the last time. I got up in the dawn and went for a run.
I kept running and running, 'til my legs could take the pain no more. I love feeling pain in my body because I have to feel that the inner pain transforms into physical and I enjoy it. And when my muscles are relaxed and pain is gone I have a feeling like I got rid of it. But it always comes back as an inner one.
When I came back, sweat was dripping down my back, but my anger at the universe wasn't gone.
And I realized I didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to see her. I mean I wanted it, but I couldn't afford it.
So, I was at home, smoking, and drinking. At the same time. 'Cuz I didn't care.
Tyler tried to talk to me.
"Bro, you okay?"
"I'm great!", I said high as kite.
"I don't think so. You're high and drunk and that is the worse combination ever." It is, he's right, but I would never admit it.
"You mad at me bro? I didn't mean anything bad, I wanted to get to know her and help you..."
"Drop it, bro", I cut him off. "I don't care what you wanted. It doesn't matter now."
"Why? You dumped her?" Something like that. But he would never understand it.
"I just figured out that I'm better alone. With pot and bottles around myself", I didn't realize I said that out loud. How pathetic.
