57. The door of afterlife

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"Mom?", I call

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"Mom?", I call. "Mom, where are you?" I turn around while trembling and being scared that I didn't come to the right place. At the place where she is, heaven, but that I ended up in hell. Please, no, don't let it be.

"Mom?", I call one more again.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. When I turn around I meet with the most beautiful emerald eyes that I inherited. I meet with the most precious smile, shining bright like a diamond. With her brunette, curly hair is sparking under the light, under the unknown light which is coming from somewhere. Looks like this indeed is heaven. This is how the afterlife is supposed to look like. Peaceful. Shiny. Serene.

"I came. Mom, I came." I smile. The brightest and biggest smile you've could ever see on my tired face. I hug her, my hands trying to touch her body, her skin, trying to come closer to her, to be able to inhale the most beautiful scent that I haven't have an opportunity to inhale enough since she left me too early and took it with herself.

"You won't be alone ever again." I pull away, but my hands are still wrapped around her neck while I'm still smiling like a happy child because I got a birthday present that I've dreamed about.

And that happiness when you receive the gift you wanted so bad, for so long can be ruined. But this happiness of mine is way bigger than every child can have. Because I finally received a gift no one could ever buy me. No money could afford it. And finally, that gift of which I was dreaming about is in front of me looking at me with its shiny orbs.

"Oh, son." She smiles and runs her hand through my messy hair, with the same color as hers, chocolate brown, but of course, hers is better. Her curls are perfect and no hairstyler could make it with any products. Her curls are bouncing and gosh how I missed her. No matter how much I want to describe it, I can't. No words can describe how lonely I felt without her. Every kid needs their mother. To protect it, to hug and kiss it and give it a cute, but embarrassing nickname which it's going to hate with every fiber in its tiny frame while it's begging her not to call it like that in front of its friends.

But you can't understand it now, not when you have her. No, you can't. You can only understand it when you lose her. When you lose the person who gave you birth, who carried you nine months in her belly, fondling it and smiling while still feeling enormous pain, squeezing her eyes not to wince as she still holds the smile and tries to imagine that moment when she's finally going to hold her baby in her arms.

People can realize how worth someone in their lives is only when they lose them. Only when life takes that person from them leaving them a void that no one can fill, except that person itself.

And that void that I'm talking about is exactly what I tried to fill with drugs and alcohol, sitting alone in the dark room, surrounded by no one else than demons. And finally, I'm looking at that person who is the only one able to fill the hole. Who can erase all the pain that was caused by her departure.

Star and its darkness (Book 1 in the Darkness&Brightness series)Where stories live. Discover now