Love is a Riot

25

« And we'll keep falling for
each other's empty spaces »

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"Come again?"

I just can't believe it. Of all people, I didn't expect Imari to be saying these things to me. Not him.

"What's wrong? You don't want to?" he told me in a mocking voice, and welcomed himself inside the house habang hila-hila ako. "We both get what we want. What do you think? I can help you forget, too."

I raised a brow at kaagad na binawi ang braso kong hawak niya noong nasa tapat na kami ng sofa. "Have you lost your mind?"

"Wow, you're one to talk," he said, and it felt like I'm talking to a whole different person. He sat down and crossed his legs. "It's just casual sex. What's there to lose?"

I was dumbfounded at how the tables were turning. His very lines... were all familiar. Did I... create a monster?

"Didn't you say that you do this with everyone?" he said, looking up at me na ngayon ay parang tanga lang na nakatayo sa harapan niya. "Or have you decided not to have sex with people you aren't dating?"

I remember it all. Lahat ng sinabi ko noon, natatandaan niya pa rin. I just said all of that out of rage dahil hindi niya ako pinatulan noon. And now that he's using it against me, I couldn't even say a word.

"Or maybe not? You were with your ex's friend just a while ago..."

Not you too, Imari... Please...

Hndi ako nakaimik. I can't even gasp. Or even move a finger. Sa sobrang gulat ko, ang kaya ko lang gawin ay umiwas ng tingin.

And he was right. I will have sex with just anyone. Bakit ngayon ako naiinsulto? That's what everone says. When I contacted Julien just awhile ago, I felt nothing. When I was about to have sex with him, I felt nothing.

So why am I so ashamed of myself right now? Right in front of Imari?

Maybe I was wrong all along? Maybe he did turn out to be what I expected him to be? Is he showing his true colors now?

What am I so mad about?

"So... what do you want me to do?" is what I only said, and sat beside him. All of a sudden, I can feel myself conceding defeat, surrendering, once again.

"Suck me off," iyon lamang ang sinabi niya, he uncrossed his legs and stood up quickly in front of me. I gulped when I realized that I was facing his crotch, but I didn't waste time and held onto him and tried to unzip his pants. The moment I touched it, bigla niyang tinabig ang kamay ko.

"This doesn't seem right to me..." sabi niya. "Kneel down."

I stood up and immediately knelt down, rested my arms on his lap at binuksan ang zipper ng suot niyang pantalon.

Natigilan ako nang marinig kong tumawa siya. "I didn't know you would actually do it. I was just kidding, you know."

I looked up at him and saw him zipping his pants again. "Or did you want to?"

Sa sobrang pagkahiya ko, I stood up, took a step away and just looked down. Nag-iinit ang pisngi ko dahil sa hiya. Ni wala na naman akong masabi para maipagtanggol ang sarili ko.

"Yeah, I guess you've always liked to do these things," he said with a smug look before taking a step to leave the house.

The next day after my class, niyaya ako ni Cain at Asl sa dorm nila. I wanted to refuse pero ayoko naman na isipin nilang may problema. The two were really nice to me and it just doesn't sit right kapag binalewala ko sila. Mabuti nga at nakikisama sila sa akin.