Love is a Riot

26

« Keep me in your heart, free from your nightmares »

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

"Stop following me. Bakit mo ba ako sinusundan?" sabi ko kay Imari na nakasunod sa akin kanina pa. "Sino ba'ng may sabi sa'yo na pwede mo akong sundan?"

"Cain said so," sabi lang niya, ignoring all of my previous questions. Maniniwala na talaga akong sobrang gullible nitong si Imari at ang dali niyang sumunod sa sasabihin ng iba, unless he's lying and did follow me on his own will.

At ano naman kayangg motibo ni Cain at pinasabay niya si Imari sa akin?

"Stop following me, I'm warning you," napalingon ako sa gilid ng gate nang maulinigan ang pamilyar na boses na iyon. "Don't try me. I hit girls."

Kaagad akong napatigil sa paglalakad, and that caused Imari who's walking beside me to pause too. Kahit nakatalikod si Deuce, kilalang-kilala ko siya. He's facing opposite to my direction, standing high and mighty at lahat ng dumaraan ay awtomatikong umiiwas sa kanya.

I felt my heart hurt.

But then I got curious and wanted to see who he's talking to, I tilted my head to get a glimpse, and saw that familiar girl–slightly taller than me, and her long, black hair falls freely down to her waist. I was expecting that I'm going to see that the girl was just some creep and Deuce was dealing with a stalker who keeps on following him just like how Imari kept on following me, but I'm certain that this is that girl I saw with him on that picture.

And I can feel my heart break into pieces again again and again.

Naramdaman ko na may balikat na umakbay sa akin, and saw Imari facing the gate. He probably saw it too, dahil napatigil rin siya.

"Tara na," sabi lang niya at hinayaan ko na lang ang sarili ko na magpahila sa kanya.

Imari's arms were kinda heavy but they somehow managed to replace those heavy bars inside me that in no time will start to suffocate me.

This very moment, I found myself thinking about how I can thank Cain
for asking Imari to follow me.

I was expecting Imari to leave pagkahatid niya sa akin sa bahay, but no, he invited himself over at wala naman akong choice kundi alukin siya ng maiinom o makakain. He just told me not to bother, and he didn't even say a word about what we both saw earlier. He just sat there quietly at the corner, not saying a word.

"Are you eating well?" tanong niya sa akin, but he isn't looking at me. Instead he played with the remote control pero hindi naman niya binubuksan ang TV. "Ano'ng mga kinakain mo?"

Nagulat rin ako dahil nagsalita siya. Most of the time kasi, he paid me no mind at all, and he even treated me like we don't know each other. Siguro, medyo effective rin 'yung pag-uusap namin kahapon even though he insulted me face to face because nag-improve naman kami kahit papaano. He's not ignoring me anymore, at the very least.

"Foods," sabi ko, and he looked at me with his confused face.

Nagulat ako dahil tumayo siyang bigla at pumunta sa kusina, tumayo rin ako kaagad at sumunod sa kanya. I saw him stepping on the trash bin kaya naman nagtaka ako. "Ano'ng ginagawa mo? Binabati 'yung mga basura?"

He tsked. "Seriously? Cup noodles?"

Waley 'yung joke ko, dapat pala nanahimik na lang ako, pero napamaang ako nang mapagtanto kung anong ginagawa niya. He walked again at huminto sa tapat ng fridge, opened it, at napapikit na lang ako dahil nabuksan niya na iyon bago masabi na walang laman iyon.

To my surprise, he didn't say a word. Lumabas lang siya kaagad at sumunod naman ako. Umupo siya sa sofa at binuksan ang bag niya, and pulled out two lunchboxes na hindi ko pa man alam kung ano ang laman ay natatakam na agad ako.

Bumalik siya sa pagkakaupo pagkalapag ng mga food containers at humalukipkip, "Eat."

"Kanino 'to?" I said. Hindi na ako umarte pa dahil kumakalam
na rin naman ang tiyan ko. Kinuha ko ang isa sa mga inilapag niyang containers and opened it immediately. I saw chop suey and grabbed a spoon to taste it. "Uy, kanino nga 'to?"

"Sa alaga ko," sabi lang niya at napatingin ako sa kanya, pababa sa zipper ng suot niyang slacks at pabalik sa kanya. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay at tumingin rin doon, "Hey, I didn't mean that!"

Natawa naman ako bigla sa reaksyon niya, after all, he's still very interesting to make fun of. Natatawa talaga ako sa mga ekspresyon niya palagi!

"I mean it's Rourke's," paliwanag niya. "I was supposed to deliver it to him as usual pero dinalhan na pala siya ni Ate."

Tumango-tango lang ako habang ngumunguya at medyo natatawa dahil hindi talaga siya nagpapatalo at nagpaliwanag pa.

"Oo na, I was kidding," sabi ko sa kanya, at medyo gumagaan ang loob because he's not being stingy at me right now like how he usually treats me nowadays and I appreciate that.

"Speaking of alaga, where is Chou?" bigla lang rin talagang pumasok sa isip ko, because I remembered na noong malapit pa sa bahay ko nagrerent si Imari, nandoon si Chou. I wonder if he let Chou go when he moved in to the boys' dorm? Nasaan na siya? Parang hindi ko naman siya napansin nu'ng nandoon kami sa dorm nila?

"At the dorm," he said, watching me eat everything on the table. Ni hindi ko na nga siya natanong kung gusto ba niya o nagugutom ba siya because I know how bad I am. When I am eating and I ask people if they want some, I always wish they'd say they don't. "She's usually in my room. Itinatago ko kay Cain..."

I wanted to ask him more about it, but I refrain from doing so. Gusto kong sabihin na hindi ko nakita, if he has her pic, but no, I stopped myself from asking. Ayoko lang talagang maungkat pa ang nangyari sa kwartong iyon noong nakaraan. I don't want to destroy the mood. Ang ayos-ayos namin ngayon.

"Why are you still here?" tanong ko sa kanya. "Akala ko, sasamahan mo lang ako pauwi?"

"Why are you asking?" pagbabalik niya ng tanong sa akin, and I saw how my question made him change his mood in swift second, which I regret very much. Fuck me and my smart mouth... "Are you going to invite someone over again pagkaalis ko?"

Napatigil ako sa pagnguya at kaagad na ibinaba ang hawak kong kutsara. The way he's acting right now felt so familiar. "Don't tell me you have already forgotten about our deal the other day?" 

Iling lamang ang iginanti ko, at nagsimula nang iligpit ang mga pinagkainan ko.

No, Imari. Hindi ko nakakalimutan. It's still very fresh in my mind.

"You don't have to call anybody else," he said. "I can help you with all of that."

Tumango lang ako sa kanya at dahan-dahang tumayo dala-dala ang mga food containers na dala niya. "I'll just wash these..." sabi ko lang at tinungo na ang kusina.

Imari has always been very easy to read. I mean, he was very transparent and his emotions are very predictable pero ngayon, hindi ko alam kung ano bang nasa isip niya. Kung ano nga ba ang motibo niya. If he's getting back at me, he's doing a very good job at making me feel upset.

I kept the thoughts off my mind and went inside the living room again. Nakatayo na si Imari noong dumating ako at iniabot ko na lang sa kanya ang dala ko. "Thank you. Aalis ka na?"

"Yeah," he said. "You better take care of yourself... or I'll do that for you."

That very moment, I was really confused.

What is Imari's real motive?