Love is a Riot

9

« It's not your fault,
I chose to play the fool. »

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"How are you fine today after drinking twice as much as I did last night?" tanong ko kay Imari pagkababa namin ng motorsiklo niya. "Are you insulting me?!"

Mukhang natakot siya sa akin. He became panicky at yumuko muna bago magsalita. "Sorry... Is being a heavyweight bad?"

Natawa ako sa sinabi niya at sa reaksyon rin niya. Seriously? But he really is a potential heavyweight drinker! Halos hindi nga ako makapaniwala na iyon ang unang beses na uminom siya. I don't know if it's with the alcohol content o talagang mataas lang ang tolerance niya kesa akin. We downed almost fifteen bottles last night at wala naman kahit anong nangyari. Not that I'm expecting something to happen though. Uminom lang talaga kami ni Imari though my mind is kinda hazy about last night. But never mind! Masaya ako na kahit papaano, kahit ilang oras lang, wala ako gaanong inisip.

I just woke up feeling like my brain is about to pop out of my ears and on top of that, late na late na ako sa unang subject. Mabuti na lang at pagkalabas ko kanina ng bahay, paalis na si Imari at isinabay niya na ako sa motorsiklo niya papuntang school.

"I didn't do anything weird last night, right?" tanong ko kay Imari habang magkasabay kaming naglalakad papasok ng gate. Kahit papaano naman, nagtitiwala ako dito kay Imari. Sa sarili ko lang talaga ako hindi nagtitiwala. What if I harrassed this kid while I was drunk?

I felt him hitch his breath and marahang umiling na parang kinakabahan.

What? If he behaves like that, iisipin ko talaga na meron!

Pero wala naman siguro, 'di ba? And this kid is brutally honest so I decided to just shrug it off because I'm certain that he's telling the truth. Mukha ngang mas mahinhin pa siya sa akin.

Nagpasalamat na lang ako sa kanya bago pumunta sa sunod kong klase dahil halos patapos na rin naman ang unang subject ko kaya sa susunod na lang ako aattend.

After my classes, dumiretso ako sa building ng College of Accountancy, Business and Economics. I think it's out of habit. Tuwing Monday kasi, pareho kami ni Deuce ng sched at maghihintay lang ako sa labas ng building ng department nila para sabay kaming kakain o uuwi.

I stared at my phone at umupo sa pwestong hindi niya ako makikita habang pasulyap-sulyap sa room nila. I memorized even his schedule and his room numbers...

I wondered all of a sudden. Is he thinking of me too?

Maybe it was wrong of me na pinatagal ko pa ang away naming dalawa. But is it too much to ask na kahit ngayon lang sana, siya ang unang mag-apologize? Because he's clearly gone overboard the last time. We don't fight often, pero hindi ko talaga siya matiis lalo na kung ako naman ang may kasalanan. Shouldn't he think the same way too?

But Deuce isn't like that... May iniingatan ring pride si Deuce and he's been like that ever since, and I came to accept it from time to time.

Should I apologise for not living up to his expectations?

Nanatili akong nakatitig hanggang sa napansin kong bukas na ang pinto ng lecture room. I waited for him to come out pero nanatili ako sa kinauupuan ko. Nakita kong lumabas na si Damian at si Julien, at inaasahan kong kasunod lang nila si Deuce, pero hindi siya lumabas. Naghintay pa ako ng ilang minuto, pero wala talaga siya.

Baka hindi siya pumasok?

Bigla tuloy akong nag-alala. What if he's not eating his meals? Paano kung hindi rin siya nakakatulog nang maayos tuwing gabi?

I shrugged it off at tumayo na. Hindi yata talaga siya pumasok.

I looked at the piece of paper na nalalaglag mula sa wallet ko. I stared at it for a moment at na-realize ko na ang nakasulat doon ay ang dating address ni Imari, ang full name niya at ang phone number niya na kinuha ko kay Cain. Iiwan ko na lang sana doon sa mesa pero kinuha ko pa rin, and I even saved his number to text him.

To: Imari

Thanks for the ride and for last night too. I appreciate it a lot.

I smiled while walking. Pwede kayang mag-apply bilang kapatid nitong si Imari? I'm sure his sisters are lucky to have a gentle baby brother like him. I have a big brother pero hindi ko naman gaanong ka-close dahil malayo ang agwat ng edad namin. He's always busy too because he's married already.

Biglang pumasok sa isip ko na nakalimutan ko palang magpakilala! But he'll know it's me, right? Ako lang naman ang pinasakay niya kanina maliban na lang kung may mga nakikita siyang hindi ko nakikita.

From: Imari

Totropahin o jojowain

Kumunot ang noo ko nang mabasa ko ang reply niya. What is he saying?

Teka, si Imari ba talaga 'to? He won't even say things like this in person! Baka naman kalokohan na naman ni Cain 'to. Siraulo talaga siya! Malay ko ba kung kaninong number itong ibinigay niya sa akin!

To: Imari

Sorry. I have a boyfriend.

Nagvibrate ulit ang phone ko at mas lalong kumunot ang noo ko sa sunod niyang reply.

From: Imari

Ayoko. I-break mo 'yan.

Pakiramdam ko ay tinitingnan ako ng mga tao dahil sa ekspresyon ko ngayon. Seryoso, sino ba 'to? At hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako o maiinis dahil sa response niya. Hindi ko na lang nireplyan at itinago na lang ang phone ko.

When I looked ahead, I was shocked to see Imari with Cain and a guy who's taller than them. I smiled at him and I saw how he looked down pero namula bigla ang tenga niya.

Cain saw me too at kaagad na lumapit sa akin kasunod sina Imari.

"Bakit hindi pumasok si Deuce?"

So I was right. Absent nga siya ngayon. And I don't even know why too. Maybe he's still upset with me...

Umiling lang ako sa kanya. "Hindi ko rin alam."

"Oh, maybe he's still sulking," natatawang sabi ni Cain. "That little cunt."

"Talking about people behind their back is bad..." sabi ni Imari. Wala palang lahing chismoso itong si Imari hindi katulad ni Cain.

"Okay, you want me to call Deuce now and tell him that he's a stinky pussy?"

Kaagad na umiling si Imari kaya naman natawa akong bigla. And excuse me, his girlfriend is in front of you. Pero sanay na ako dito kay Cain. He might be like that pero he's a good friend to Deuce.

Pero bigla akong nagtaka. "How did you know that Deuce and I aren't okay?"

Tinaasan niya kaagad ako ng kilay. "I called you last night and you told me. Duh."

Kumunot kaagad ang kilay ko. He called last night? Bakit wala akong natatandaan? Napalingon ako kay Imari pero umiwas lang siya ng tingin. Does he know that Cain called last night?

"By the way," sabi ni Cain at itinuro ang kasamang lalaki na katabi ni Imari. "This pole guy is Asl. Well, kilala mo na naman si Imari."

After saying that, he had a slight grin on his face na hindi ko maintindihan kung ano'ng gustong iparating. I waved at his tall friend na hindi naman ako napansin dahil noong may sumagi kay Imari ay kaagad niyang tinanong kung gusto na daw bang mamatay.

He's a scary guy. These three a weird bunch!

But I really wonder why Cain is grinning! It's making me really anxious? Should I ask him about it? Pero malamang sa malamang, kung ano-ano na namang sasabihin ni Cain sa akin. He'll beat around the bush before telling me the truth!

So I decided to wait for Imari in front of the gate hanggang sa makaalis sina Cain at Asl.

Maybe I should ask this kid about it. Kids don't lie, do they?