Love is a Riot

13

« Why are you getting farther away?
So far that I can't reach you? »

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"I'm sorry, what?" tanong ko sa kanya. "You like me too?"

Kaagad siyang yumuko. "Yeah... I've liked you ever since the get-together with your cousins..."

Hindi ako nakapagsalita.

"So when you told Cain last night that you like me, I decided to give it a try," sabi niya at nagkamot ng batok. "This is my first time confessing to someone so I don't know how to do it right. I'm sorry."

"Sandali nga," sabi ko at umupo sa sofa. "I told Cain what?"

"That you like me. Over the phone," sabi niya sa akin na mas lalong ikinunot ng noo ko. "And you're always following me too so even if you denied it, I assumed that you like me too."

I don't even remember na tumawag si Cain sa akin. Is this the reason why Cain was grinning awhile ago? And I'm just following him dahil nga may kailangan ako sa kanya!

"Sorry, I think there's a misunderstanding, Imari," kalmado kong sabi, pero nakita kong bigla siyang nanigas sa kinatatayuan niya. "I'm already seeing someone. Hindi ba nasabi ni Cain sa'yo? And didn't you know that I'm in a relationship with Deuce?"

Ang imposible naman na hindi niya malaman na may relasyon kami ni Deuce. Alam na alam iyon ng lahat and on top of that, he's Cain's friend. Imposible namang hindi nabanggit ni Cain iyon kay Imari lalo na't naabutan niya kami noon sa bahay.

"You're... in a relationship?" I saw a hint of confusion in his face. "With Deuce Crisologo?"

Tumango ako sa kanya. And why would I even say that I like him? Maybe when I said that, talagang wala ako sa tamang pag-iisip dahil sa impluwensya ng alak. At kung sinabi ko man iyon, what I meant was that I like him as a person because he's nice to me. I like him as a friend.

"But you were following me..." sabi niya, at mas lalo akong na-guilty. Were my actions so confusing? Dapat pala noon pa lang ay nasabi ko na sa kanya kung ano ang pakay ko at sinusundan ko siya. "I thought you were interested in me..."

"I'm sorry," sabi ko sa kanya "I was just following you because I want to ask you not to tell Terence about what you saw in Deuce's house. Other than that, I don't have any intentions... I apologise."

Mukhang nagulat siya at napatingin sa akin. "What... I thought..." sabi niya at yumukong muli. "I thought you liked me..."

Naramdaman ko ang panginginig niya, habang ako naman ay hindi nakapagsalita. I looked at him and saw him trying so hard to hold back his tears dahil kagat-kagat pa niya ang labi niya. My eyes landed on my hands. Sobra akong na-guilty, but at the same time, I wondered why. Bakit niya naman ako magugustuhan? Sa kaunting oras na iyon?

That's just... so impossible.

Pagkatapos naming mag-usap kagabi, bumalik na ako sa bahay. Hindi niya na rin naman ako inimikan. I kept on saying I'm sorry and he kept on saying na okay lang.

I don't even know if it was sincere. Also, I have to ask Cain about this. Kung alam niyang may gusto sa akin si Imari, bakit hindi niya sinasabi sa kaibigan niya na in a relationship ako?

Minabuti ko na rin na agahan ang pasok ngayon para hindi ko na maabutan si Imari. Nakakapanghinayang lang. I really thought na pwedeng maging magkaibigan kaming dalawa. This is the first time that someone treated me nicely, I didn't expect it to end like that just because he started catching feelings for me.

I'm not even likeable to begin with.

I was about to get my phone on my bag to contact Cain habang naglalakad palabas ng bahay nang makasalubong kong bigla si Deuce. He smiled when he saw me at kaagad na lumapit sa akin.

"Sorry, babe," sabi niya at kaagad akong ikinulong sa mga bisig. Pagakatapos noon ay humiwalay siya sa akin, "Let's go to school together?"

I smiled at him. Na-miss ko talaga si Deuce. I gave him a kiss on the lips at kaagad naman niyang ipinulupot ang braso niya sa bewang ko. "Let's go home together later, okay?"

Tumango lang ako sa kanya at kaagad na hinawakan ang kamay niya nang ilahad niya iyon sa harap ko. We both smiled. My hand fits so well in his slightly rough hand. Are we made for each other?

Pwede bang ganito na kang kaming dalawa palagi?

I like him better when he's not scary...

We were about to go out nang biglang may tumawag, kaya naman sabay kaming napalingon ni Deuce. "Ate, I just came to bring–" napalingon siya kay Deuce, at pababa sa kamay naming dalawa. "–your sweater back..."

Imari.

Napalingon sa akin si Deuce. "Who is he?" he asked, then eyed Imari. "You know him?"

Kaagad akong kinabahan. I know him, but Deuce mustn't know him. I know it'll be messy if that happens. Mas mabuti nang hindi mapasali si Imari sa gulo namin, just like what Cain said before. I'm going to hate myself so much if I drag an innocent kid to our mess.

"No."

Nakita ko ang gulat sa mga mata ni Imari, at kaagad siyang napayuko. I suddenly felt guilty, pero alam kong mas mabuti kung ganito. I'm going to say sorry to him later.

"But that's your sweater," sabi ni Deuce habang nakatingin sa sweater ko na hawak-hawak ni Imari na siguro ay naiwan ko kagabi sa bahay niya.

I sighed at bumitaw sa kamay ni Deuce bago lumapit kay Imari. I grabbed the sweater, at kitang-kita ko rin ang panginginig ni Imari sa kinatatayuan. I'm sorry, Imari... I'm really sorry.. "Thank you po. I must've dropped it yesterday on my way home. Thanks for bringing it back."

Hindi siya sumagot. Dinaanan lang namin siya ni Deuce habang palabas kaming dalawa.

I kept a straight face kahit na sobrang nagiguilty ako sa ginawa ko kay Imari. He's been really good to me pero hindi pwedeng malaman ni Deuce na nagkaroon ako ng kaibigan. Ayokong maulit pa ang mga nangyari noon sa mga taong nakasalamuha ko.

I have to keep him safe. I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me again.

As much as possible.