Orange Deficiency〆Jeon Jungkook

⋆sixty four

change something made different; alteration

Jungkook

1 month later.

The sun shone brighter than usual, the light breeze calming as it brushed through the large trees that danced rythimically and hit my face softly to break off the stinging sun, and I took a deep breath to let nature's serenity overtake me, relieve me of the stress of newness, of change. There was a salient change in my demeanor. A smile that hadn't left my face ever since. The bustling city seemed bright and fresh, not tiring and fast. I could keep up with the racing paces of the world. I could run a marathon, dance in the middle of the street, scream Sora's name from the top of a mountain. I felt invinsible. This shift in reality, it was happiness. Because whatever chapter was starting in my life, I was holding the pen to write it. I wasn't reading along the lines of a reality, I was creating it. 

My eyes were glued on the road as I made my way back home after meeting Hoseok for a short quitting-the-job celebration — if such thing existed. It was a tad melancholic, especially on Hoseok's side who everything but begged me to stay even though deep down I knew he was happy to see me go. Not because he wouldn't miss me, I would miss working with him too. I could tell from the brigthness in his eyes that he was silently cheering for me. Working without him wouldn't be quite as pleasant. He made years of working at a smoothie shop bearable. Letting my partner go was the one hard part about leaving my job. But, we would stay in touch. Hoseok was my friend after all, not just my partner.

I smiled at that thought. Something which I found myself doing many times that day.

Even the endless time spent on the streets during rush hour didn't bother me much. I had many thoughts to calculate. Dreams to ponder about. The nightmares were gone, and the hope of pursuing this ideal concept of life had come upon me.

The day was unlike most for plenty of reasons. I quit my job to begin with, but there were changes happening simultaneously which were of far more importance. Taehyung was moving out. Sora was moving in. Today. Right now. I might have been in a state of shock because of it, but I was so ecstatic I barely noticed.

I had attempted to put the stress—which had been eating me up for around a month— aside. A month ago; that was when I had asked Sora to move in with me, and when she said yes, so many question marks appeared. Whether we could live together, whether we would fight alot, or if I wouldn't be able to provide her the love she deserved on a daily basis, or that she would begin to mold her every day unhappiness with our space, and me, just to end up un-falling for me. And I didn't doubt our love for a millisecond, but the concerns came naturally. Yet despite them, I was excited for this life. This newness. To wake up next to her every morning, to take care of her, to give her my love, my protection. To be loved by her, to see her smile and laugh and fall asleep in my arms. For us to be together, all the time. To watch movies only so that I could watch her, and to go out in the world with her by my side knowing that she was officially in my life now. A permanent part. One that wouldn't break at any given second. We'd survived because of each other since we'd met and it was time we survived with each other instead.

I giggled, then pressed the hand break once the street cleared.

It wasn't long until I arrived home. Trekking up the several flights of stairs with the last ounces of my energy I was met with the back view of my two favorite people talking to each other in the hallway.

Sora turned to see me with a bright smile adorning her face, and when Taehyung noticed, he copied.

"How did it go?" Taehyung asked, a humorous tone to his voice.

I chuckled, shaking my head as I walked into my disheveled, half empty apartment. The couch was the only piece of furniture left inside. The rest had been moved next door to Taehyung's new one.

Yes, Taehyung would only be moving next door. I'd still see him every day, and work with him too once all things settled with the shop, but our relationship would still change. We wouldn't share every second. We would no longer be roommates. Actually, as of now, we no longer were. We would be best friends, but purely we would be just that and I was happy for that change to happen. After all these years waiting to prevent disaster, we could take a breath. Especially Taehyung. He'd been deprived his life by taking on the role of my caregiver and he deserved more than anyone else to get it back. I wondered what he'd do with his free time, with the empty space in his apartment. Taehyung had the tendency of getting caught up in his work; he worked with passion and drive. This time I was rooting to see him build a bond of affection and care. Because he didn't only just work with passion, but he loved with it too. I'd never seen anyone with such purity in the way they loved others. To see him use that and to see him be loved back by a significant other would be one of a kind, beautiful. Even so, if he decided to remain alone for a while, and whatever he did, I'd cheer for him. I'd cheer as long as he was doing what he pleased. I'd cheer for him the same way he'd cheered for me for so long. Like the best friend he deserved. Because we were best friends; it had been that way for a very long time, and that would never change.

When entering, I threw myself on the couch immediately and the fatique overtook me in a heartbeat. My energy dropped, my eyes threatening to close. A second before I fell into a sweet slumber, Sora came to sit next to me on the couch and my eyes zapped open, glued onto her beautiful face.

She was smiling.

That kind of smile that lights up the room, that fills you with warmth and joy and energy. It was contagious.

A smile grew on my face too, my eyes crinkling up at the corners. It was a genuine smile. Inside me all the withered flowers had started to bloom, even when spring was behind us.

Between all the chaos, all the madness, the darkness, death; I had ended up just fine.

My family.

My Mother. Taehyung. Sora. And Jeongin. He may not have been physically there, but he lived vibrantly in my memories. From now on, I'd make sure I lived for him too. And since I'd be doing that, I had to be even more careful to lead a beautiful life. This moment, just now, was my beggining.

I was cured. I was in love. I was happy.

All things I never—not once in a million–thought I could be.

The smile on my face widened. It didn't seem possible, but it did. My pupils exuded all the colours of the emotions I felt, like a rainbow. Only rainbows came out in the rain, and there was no rain to be seen.

I placed my palm in hers, holding on tightly for dear life.

My story had seemed to be a tragedy, but ever since her, the genre became outmost different. She'd turned the page. No, she'd shifted it entirely. And as I was writing down the first words to the next chapter that day, I realized it was going to be a good story.

We were going to be okay, the fours of us, as long as we stayed together. And luckily, we were inseparable.

I concidered this my beggining. The beggining of Jeon Jungkook. The day he truly healed.

I took a deep breath.

_____

So, this is the final chapter.
Truthfully, this may seem small and rushed, and I wrote this one around 5 times. It never seemed right. So, I went for what did.

Today, as I write this, despite the rushed feeling, it feels good. I like it this way. Because in all honesty life is chaotic and messy. It's not all beautiful and put together. And that's so extremely beautiful. It's pure and realistic and saddening. I love that. I hope this chapter shows even a glimpse of that feeling.

There will be two Epilogues following this chapter, so worry not, this is not our goodbye yet, but this is where the story ends.

Please express your thoughts her if you wish. I'd love to hear it.

Thankyou for your support.

Talk soon,
N.