Only Fools

Chapter Thirty Three

As I set down Ivy's note, I let out a shaky breath, but no tears even begin to well in my eyes.

One thought just keeps replaying in my mind: she promised she wouldn't leave.

Running my fingers through my hair, I quickly grab my phone and unlock it to check for any texts from her. Maybe she changed her mind after she left. And yet the only messages I have are from Naomi who is asking how everything went. I don't have the motivation or desire to answer her.

So I lock my phone and then fall back onto my bed, staring at the ceiling fan as it spins in a hypnotic motion. I try not to think too hard about last night because I don't want the feelings that accompany the thoughts. So instead, I think about other nights, nights when a smile just couldn't seem to leave my face.

Like the first night I actually went to a party with Naomi and Tori. We were just freshman at the time but Tori still somehow managed to stand on top of a pool table and get practically the entire crowd there to follow her lead in doing the macarena. I don't even think she had a drop of alcohol in her system.

Or there was also this one time junior year when Dustin and I just drove around together for hours because he had just gotten his license. We fought over what music we would listen to nearly the entire time, but we both felt so happy and free that it didn't really matter.

Or recently when Margot and I had a snowball fight in the park. Something about that girl keeps a smile on my face, and that just makes me want to keep her around for as long as I'm able to.

It's then that I make a decision on what I need to do. Picking my phone back up, I quickly dial the number and wait for an answer, somewhat hoping that I'll even get one.

"Wow. I haven't even been gone for a week. Miss me already?" Alex's voice resounds through the speaker. I snort at his comment as I shake my head.

"You wish," I retort back in response.

"And you called this number why then? Though, if it was a mistake, then you got a pretty great result out of it," Alex says.

"What?"

"You got to hear my voice today. I would say your ears have been blessed, if I'm being completely honest,"

"Yeah right," I say sarcastically as I roll my eyes at my brother.

"Dang. I can almost feel the eye roll from here,"

I chuckle at his antics as I shake my head.

"So.... this was a butt dial or something?" Alex double checks with me.

"Or something...." I trail off, debating over whether I actually want to have this conversation with him.

"What?"

"I didn't know who else to talk to, Alex," I say quietly into the phone.

"Shit. What happened? Is it dad? Is he alright?" Alex almost instantly launches into a barrage of questions.

"No, no. He's fine. I just...."

"What happened?" Alex asks again, just with a softer tone this time. I don't respond, not even sure how to begin to tell him everything I want to and not even sure if me wanting to tell him is real.

"It's Ivy, isn't it?" Alex asks me. I freeze at his words. How did he....

"What do you mean?" I ask him as I begin to pace around my room.

"She was the girl that you liked," he explains.

"Why would you think that?" I ask him, getting slightly defensive over the situation though I'm not completely sure why.