Vibrations // l.s.

12

Louis

It's been two weeks since Harry and I shared our first kiss and things have been going smoothly ever since. We are almost in a routine of who goes to which house to spend the night or who cooks dinner for whom. It feels like we have grown a lot closer in such a short amount of time but I wouldn't ask for anything different.

We didn't end up staying the night at each other's homes last night because I had a meeting/dinner with someone from my record label and Harry had a lot of assignments that needed to be graded. We did end up on FaceTime with one another though. Which didn't get steamy like I had hoped but Harry ended the call by falling asleep while I was mid sentence. I forgave him quickly though and got an adorable screenshot of his sleeping face out of it.

Today is a day that I have been dreading for a while now. I have to take Oli to his audiologist for a routine check up. I know it doesn't sound like very much but every time Oli has visited, more and more of his hearing is diminishing.

I told myself whenever Oli was younger that I wouldn't show my sadness in front of him but it's been hard to keep that promise. I know that I should be grateful that Oli's overall health is outstanding but he's my little brother, I can't help but feel for him.

I just finished dressing for the day and galloped down the stairs, hoping I could psych myself up for this doctors visit. I turned the corner that lead to the kitchen and heard Oli speaking on FaceTime.

"I know Uncle Chris. There's no need to worry about me, I'll be fine no matter what." I decided to show myself to Oli and he was sitting on the counter, swinging his legs like a little kid.

"Oh thank god! Here is Louis, Uncle Chris. He can save me from your endless lectures!" Oli groaned and tossed the phone over to me. I laughed lightly at his theatrics and told him to finish getting ready.

"How are you Lou?" I focused on Chris who looked to be holding back some emotions. I sighed softly.

"I could be better, not going to lie. I always feel like I'm drowning whenever we make these visits." I made my way to the living room and plopped myself on the leather couch. I heard Uncle Chris hum in agreement.

"I know it must be hard for you to stay strong for your brother Lou. You've been doing it for so long now and I can understand if you feel overwhelmed." I'm not sure why it happened but I could feel my eyes getting watery as Chris spoke. The lump in my throat impossible to choke down.

"It's not even that, Chris. I'm used to being the strong one for Oli. I'm used to choking back my emotions so I don't upset him anymore. I'm used to being there for him whenever he gets depressed about his hearing. I'm used to all of it. I just-" I had to take a deep breath because my voice was coming out shaky. I decided to move outside just in case Oli came down suddenly.

"I just don't understand why this is happening to him. Why can't his hearing just stay stagnant? Why couldn't he have just been born without his hearing? I know he feels like he can't show it in front of me but I can see it Chris. I can see him lose a little bit of that sparkle in his eyes every time we go to this doctor. Every time the doctor tells us the percentage of hearing he has left and how it's gone down significantly since the last visit. I see it Chris! And it hurts me every time because I cant do anything about it!" My voice broke at the end but I didn't care. I had tears running down my face like Niagara Falls but I didn't do anything to stop them.

I could hear Chris sniffling on the phone but he was waiting patiently for me to calm myself so he could speak again. I took deep breaths and wiped my face mercilessly in order to make the tears stop.