Chapter 46

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'Huh?'

Something was off, and he couldn't pin-point it. Was it the kiss? Why was he thinking this now? He pulled back and thought. Part of him wanted this. He wanted to indulge in her. In contrast, the other thoughts were mixed emotions relating to a certain golden-haired sword princess. But that had always been the case... No, there was something else. Something lacking!

He tried to focus on her lips as he pushed his own into them, but it was like he hadn't at all, instead it remained the same no matter how hard he pressed against them. A sinking feeling came over him as even the steady heartbeat disappeared. He reached up to touch her face but was met with nothing. No sensation in his hand, even her silky blue hair didn't provide anything. He pulled back and opened his eyes only to be met with darkness.

'DAMN IT!'

His eyes shot open, and he was staring at the ceiling. His heart sank even more as he realised it was all a dream! A concoction of needs and wants used by his brain to tease him. The bitter cold of his room crept upon him as if it was taunting him. But all in all, he was confused.

'I-Is that what I wanted... Or am I just overthinking this?'

He felt the warmth of another beside him. It had been clear that his dream had created a situation born from his feelings for her, but they were just false hopes. However, seeing she was still sleeping beside him filled him with joy. He could feel her, embrace her and gather up all the warmth for himself. However, his smile soon faded and with a heavy sigh, he pulled himself away. With great care not to wake her he moved to the edge of his bed and sat on the edge. He held his head in his hands as he tried to come to terms with his feelings.

'What do I feel for this girl... For Aiz it started as admiration, and before I knew it I wanted to stand next to her... Be with her...'

He looked back. The Goddess turned adventure slept silently under the covers, her soft breathing was barely noticeable, but it was there. The faint moonlight pierced through the cracks in the curtains illuminating her. It only served to enhance her beauty, something he thought impossible.

'I know you said just to embrace it and go with the flow... But I don't know any more. I just feel regret afterwards! I can't get the fact she's a goddess out my head! I always think of her and Aiz... How am I supposed to know what to feel?'

He might have well have been talking to the shadows for all the good it did him. His grandfather tried to get him to relax on the matter, but how could he, he had a wargame to worry about the future of his Familia and yet all he could think about was two girls!

'I admitted I liked her just as I like Aiz... But all that's done is made this more difficult!'

He got to his feet and walked over to the small wash bowl sitting on a nearby dresser. The water was bitterly cold yet refreshing as he splashed it on his face a few times. He looked into the mirror and took a few deep breaths before drying himself off. Having looked over at the bed, he chose not to return, instead choosing to pull out the chair tucked under the dresser. He dropped into it, placing his arms on the dresser's side, resting his head in his hands.

Surrounded by silence, all he could focus on was the fire burning inside him. It started to spread slowly through him. It was annoying, all it served to do was remind him of his weakness.

'Guess this is what I get for listening to that old coot. Still guess I'm responsible for some of that blame...'

The memories of the past week started to flood back in. The hunting trip, their uncontrollable sexual actions when they returned... Every kiss she planted on his cheek and everyone he returned in full. His heart raced as his body grew more restless. This was becoming a problem, and it wasn't a small one ever...

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