Chasing After Wind // Jordi GDL FF

Chapter 35

"Edi kilalanin natin ang isa't-isa," he firmly said, na tila napaka-obvious nun para hindi ko maisip. Tumingala siya, binasa ang pang-ibabang labi bago muling sinalubong ang aking tingin. I could recognize bits of determination and resoluteness in his eyes. "Let's try again, Kyla."

Umawang ang aking labi as I tried to make sense of his words. Because haven't we been trying again? Hindi ba't patunay ang magaang pakikitungo namin sa isa't-isa sa nagdaang araw upang masabing sinusubukan namin?

If he says this then it would imply that he wasn't referring to trying to be friends again, because that was already a given.

"A-Anong" kinakabahan kong ani. "I don't---Teka lang. Hindi ba--"

"Kyla! Jordi! Kanina pa nakabukas ang gate!"

Muntik na akong napatalon sa gulat nang makitang papalapit si Juan sa kinaroroonan namin. Ang isang kamay ko'y nasa dibdib na tila pinipigilan ang pagtalon ng puso palayo.

I had a lot of courage for different reasons. Matapang akong makipaglabanan sa business. I was brave when it came to overcoming my weaknesses. But the courage I had when it came to facing Jordi was only a small hourglass. And my time was up.

Malaki ang nakatayo sa bawat pag-uusap naming ito and now that I had run out of courage, I wasn't willing to risk what was at stake.

"U-Una na ako. May meeting pa ako ngayong alas kwatro," wika ko't pumasok na sa sasakyan.

Agad kong pinaandar ang makina't nag-backing na. My car was heavily tinted kaya alam kong hindi niya naman ako nakikita but the way he followed my eyes, his hands in his pockets, made me think otherwise.

Even then, I knew that we weren't done.

Hindi ako nagsinungaling nang sinabi kong may meeting nga ako. By the time I reached my condo, I was too preoccupied with work and his words that I couldn't function properly. Kaya ang kinahinatna'y lutang na lutang ako habang nasa trabaho.

Tiningnan ko ang Mr. Pena na tinutukoy ni Antonio. He was in his mid-40s, may halong dugo dahil sa singkit niyang mga mata but it was clear that stress was dragging his age further because of the growing bald spot in his head.

He looked deceiving and I didn't know if I should be doing anything else right now that doesn't involve thinking about the conversation Jordi and I just had.

I had the luxury to think about that in the next days dahil wala namang kakaibang nangyari.

Hindi ko maitatangging batay sa pagtatanong niya sa aking tungkol kay Amarissa ay tila pinapamukha niyang hindi iyon totoo at na nagkamali ako ng akala and the more that I thought about it the more it made sense.

It didn't make my reason for believing otherwise invalid, though.

Nang lumipas ang mga araw na walang nangyayari'y akala ko'y nagkamali na naman ulit ako ng akala. Maybe, Jordi really meant for us to try again as friends and I'd given another meaning to it just like what I've been doing since.

But didn't we start with that before?

I groaned bago isinubsob ang mukha sa unan. Bakit ba palagi akong nag-iisip? I just want to silence those thoughts for even just a night.

Napalingon ako sa phone nang nag-ring ito at agad na sinagot nang makitang si Ate pala.

"Hmm?" I said, my voice muffled by the pillows.

"Kumusta?" tanong niya.

Tamad kong itinaas ang mukha upang matingnan ang orasan. Mag-aalas nuwebe na. Kadalasan ay hindi siya ganito ka-late tumatawag para lang mangamusta.