It's Family Business

"You do you honeyboo" is my new catchphrase ;)

Hey you. Yes I'm talking to you, the one holding your phone to close to your face. Pull back a little, relax - take a break, have a KitKat...

Aha f*ck it, pull the phone up all the way back to your nose and snog the living sh*t out of it if you want.

You do you honeyboo.

It has come to my attention that you're interested in my book. Well, I'll be damned, you probably can't see how happy I am right now - I'm cheesin' - no seriously I think my face is splitting in half. Help.

Now I won't keep you waiting long, just gonna clear up a few things before you start reading.

Numero uno:

This book is not smutty :( I know so sad. But seriously there's no vivid scarring descriptions of our characters doing the hanky panky. That shit weirds me out and makes me cringe so hard. I mean if you wanna go read some seggsy time, go for it sunshine, you're just not going to find it here. But yeah, that's that. No smut you horny freaking f*cks. But there might be some smooching and hand holding and hot eye contact. I mean that shit always gets me.

Numéro deux:

This is a mafia book. Woohoo let's go b*tches!!! I love mafia books, they really got all the ✨spice✨
So expect a lot of swearing and strangling and shooting and wanting to be shot and vine references and overall Gen Z typa shit. I love me some humour, bringing me onto my next point...

Nummer drei:

My style is very light and fun. I like making hardcore death shit funny and weird. It makes it less boring y'know? Like imagine there's a gun pointed at you, what would you do? There's two ways you could go about it: The classic - the one where you have another mental breakdown and sorta freak out the hitman and they just...run away. Or my favorite, The Swag: the one where you pull a 180° and deck the dude in the face with the gun and play some cool John Wick hand tricks with it and just go off the wall and make the hitman piss himself. That's the sh*t yo.

*Also if you ever get a gun pointed at you for reals and tell the guy to pull the trigger...you do you honeyboo...haha no but seriously, go get some help sugar, talk about it to someone.

:رقم اربعة

Envision whoever the hell you want to play my characters. Go wild cherrypie! Picture the main character as you and the love interest as your crush - make it your night fantasy ;)
Make them any race/gender/ethnicity you want. Give them short hair, long hair, blue hair, f*cking give them a neon green mohawk if you're feeling adventurous. Even when I write the main lead as brunette; if you see them with a green mohawk, baby give them a green mohawk. Picture them as you please.

五号:

And finally, thank you for reading. It really means the world to me. Vote and comment as you wish angels, I love seeing people comment on my work, criticism is much appreciated! (To a certain extent, because if it gets lethal to quick, I might binge watch the whole of The Office again and cry). If you're a silent reader know that I appreciate you, enjoy the ride honey pie. If you're here for the vibes—vibe along, you've entered the zen zone baby.

So without any further ado, read on you wanderer...

What are you still doing here? Go, hurry! The story awaits you!

I'm serious dude...you gotta dash...