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[ ― twelve. ]
reminder, don't let han gowoon live. iseul thought to herself as she walked with han seojun by her side. awkward was beyond an understatement, she couldn't believe just what she had gotten herself into, she should've left as soon as she realised she had been tricked. idiot. iseul thought to herself, a sigh escaping her lips as she shook her head at herself. suddenly a finger poked at her temple, taking her by surprise as she turned to find seojun staring at her curiously.
"what are you thinking of that has you sighing and shaking your head like that?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow at the girl. "especially when you're with me of all people." he mumbled, his hand returning to his side. "shouldn't you be more nervous?"
"yah!" iseul raised her voice, taking them both by surprise. she was growing more and more agitated at how pretentious this guy was, but there was no way she was actually going to say anything. "nothing." she meekly added, picking up her pace as she kept her head down, knowing that her face was glowing red in embarrassment. "seriously, bae iseul." she cursed at herself, slapping her mouth for speaking without permission. just as she was about to cross the road, a hand grabbed hold of her wrist, twisting her around and pulling her back into a chest. the sound of a car's horn catching her attention as her wide eyes glanced behind her to realise that she had almost gotten herself killed.
"do you have a thing about getting hit by a car or something?!" seojun's voice brought her out of her thoughts, her head turning back around as he scolded her, but she had tuned out his voice, feeling a horrible sense of nostalgia as she remembered the car crash with her parents. why did that have to happen now? she thought to herself, losing the feeling in her legs as she almost crashed to the ground if it wasn't for seojun catching her, his arm securing itself around her waist as his words came to a halt, noticing that she was completely out of it. "yah, what's wrong? bae iseul?" he called for her, trying to get her to snap out of the trance she was in. "bae iseul?!" he repeated, his voice sounding like the doctors that tried to keep her conscious whilst they brought her into the hospital.
"i'm sorry." she mumbled. i'm sorry i was the only one who survived.
"yah..." seojun finally caught iseul's attention, the girl snapped out of her thoughts, finally meeting seojun's gaze. "are you okay?" those three words were enough to have the girl burst out crying, everything she had been holding back; the fear, the pain, came out in pathetic, miserable sobs. seojun's gaze softened, placing a hand on the girl's head before pushing it softly towards his chest, patting her back in hopes to comfort her.
iseul couldn't help but feel grateful in that moment, wanting nothing more than to just hide her ugly crying face from him, knowing that she'd be super embarrassed once she had calmed down.
-
"do you get those often?" seojun questioned, watching as iseul shamefully ate her tteokbokki in silence, unable to face the boy sat before her. although surprisingly, seojun was a lot more kinder and understanding, rather than annoyed, he was obviously more concerned for the girl's health, knowing that she had been traumatised by the car crash he had heard about, which was no surprise ― no one gets out of it unharmed.
"no, that was the first time." iseul finally answered after a moment of silence. although it was a lie ― all the nightmares, always hating herself, panicking until she vomited or fainted, they were just a few things she had suffered post-accident. every time she thought about it, she'd be reminded of her parents, she'd remember the blood and the bones, the way the cars had impaled the both of them, the glass shard that dug into their skin. "it should've been me." she mumbled thoughtlessly, but unfortunately seojun had caught her words.
he cleared his throat, catching her attention as she snapped out of her thoughts, realising that she was spiralling again. plastering on a fake smile, iseul poked her fork through a sausage. "but don't worry about it, i doubt it'll happen again." she shrugged, trying her best to dismiss his concern.
"shouldn't you see a therapist? burying it away isn't going to solve anything, you know that right?" iseul's smile faltered, she knew he was only saying it out of concern but it pissed her off, the way he got involved, speaking as if he knew what she was going through.
"know your place, han seojun." she spoke through clenched teeth, placing her fork down as she did her best to keep calm. "i should really get going, i wasn't even meant to be here in the first place." she sighed, standing up from the table. she wanted to pay for the meal, but considering she had rushed out of the house with nothing but her phone on her, she had no choice but to let seojun pay. however, for now, she didn't mind it as she left the restaurant first.
"yah, wait―!" seojun groaned, hurrying to pay for their meal before chasing after the girl. he glanced down both ways, trying to catch sight of the girl among the suddenly busy street. he sighed, cursing himself for taking so long to pay, if only his change hadn't suddenly fallen all over the floor due to the fact he was trying to rush himself out of there, it seemingly backfired.
