Anime One Shots And Imagines (Black Ocs)

Shit I would say if I were in Jujutsu Kaisen (Slight Spoilers)

*"Itadori you are now my child. Call me mom."

*"Mai, I can not be bothered to care about your issues."

*Momo I will field goal you into another country. Shut the fuck up."

*"Noritoshi, you were the semen your mom should have swallowed."

*"Gojo, can I see your eyes for research purposes?"

*"I'm just saying, foreign women are the way to go for tall and fat ass women. Especially American women, I mean look at Megan Thes Stallion and Beyoncé."

*"Kasumi, I love you but you are not getting dick down by Gojo before me. Keep it moving."

*"Fushiguro, you are my sweet baby boy and you have most of my heart, but if your dad wants me, he's gonna get me."

*"I do love Gojo and I would love if he made me his wife, but if Nanami asks first, I'm not gonna say no. Like the fuck?"

*"Sukuna is hot, but he's in the body of Itadori... You see and understand the problem with that, right?"

*"Nobara is my best fucking friend and if I hear any of you trifling ass bitches talking shit about her again, I'm gonna do to you what Jason did to Kaneki in those 10 long agonizing days."

*"That old fart should have died a century ago."

*"Maki if I wasn't straight, I'd be your Pillow Princess... Keep that in mind."

*"Panda do you have any tendencies of your animal siblings? I just want to know."

*"What else can you do with that tongue? WAIT, WHAT?!"

*"Yaga-san, you are probably the only chill one here."

*"Man fuck those special grades and fuck those Kyoto kids. Other Kasumi and Aoi, I hope them special grades have them for lunch."

*"I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but just because men have more power doesn't mean you don't have power over men. You can ruin a man's whole bloodline with one good field goal to the dick."

*"Men ain't shit, so if I like a guy, he is worth my time and attention. Hence: Gojo, Yaga-san, and Nanami. Men like the bitchass principal at Kyoto is an example of men who aren't shit."

*"I'm too stubborn and emotional to be a hoe. I could be a sugar baby tho."

*"IF YOU WANT ITADORI DEAD, YOU'RE A MISTAKE YOUR MOM SHOULD HAVE ABORTED!"

*"HASHTAG GIVE GOJO SATORU A FUCKING RAISE!"

*"Momo if you sucked dick as much as you talk shit, you wouldn't be fighting death let alone working."

*"Noritoshi you were a one-night stand gone wrong. No, an abortion gone wrong."

*"Mai, compared to your sister, you're fugly. Fucking ugly."

*"Aoi if you put your hand on Fushiguro again, I'll put you down like a sick dog."

*"I will unplug your life support to charge my phone, you old bitch. Try me."

*"JUJUTSU HIGH IS CORRUPTED AND NEEDS A BETTER REPRESENTATIVE! I RECOMMEND PRINCIPAL YAGA MASAMICHI!"

*"HASHTAG IJICHI DESERVES A THREE YEAR PAID VACATION!"

*"It must suck to be you, Ijichi."

*"Aoi you're not supposed to beat up your friends. You beat up the people who mean your friends harm. Like ninety percent of your school."

*"If you are on my list, your life will be spared. If not, you're dead to me. That's a majority of Kyoto high."

*"I can and will go to jail for murder and arson if you hurt a hair on Itadori's body."

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A/N: Felt petty because of episode 18. Don't judge me. The shade is fun as hell.