I Loved You Before I Met You

33

"Hello" Lauren says with a sigh and I can't help but realize she sounds so tired and hurt. Maybe I shouldn't have called. She has her own problems to deal with so she doesn't need me bothering her. I'm trying to keep from crying and I sniffle then hear Lauren "Kyler are you crying? What's wrong? Where are you? Please answer me Kyler, you're scaring me."

I swallow "Lauren" is all I can get out right then. I take a deep breath before trying to speak again. "I need you, please. Please Lauren." I can't stop the tears as I start crying again. First I lose my mom and now I have to go through all of this. There's silence on the other end of the phone until I hear the worry in her voice as she speaks. "Kyler, what's wrong and where are you? Did something happen to you? Are you okay? Talk to me, please."

"I'm at the park down from the house. H-he kicked me out. I didn't know anybody else to call. I'm sorry for bothering you, I'll let you go." Lauren quickly says "you better not hang up on me. Kyler I'm so sorry and it's fine that you called me. I'm sorry I haven't responded to any of your text or other calls. I had things I was trying to deal with and wanted to distance myself but now I feel terrible for ignoring you. Stay there and I will be there in about 10 minutes to get you."

She hangs up before I can say anything else. I receive a text from her asking what side of the park I'm on. After texting her back she responds telling me to sit tight she is on her way. After about 10 minutes a brand new looking gray Ford Edge with tinted windows pulls up. Lauren quickly emerges from the car and when I see her I just start crying again, unable to move. She spots me and runs up to me pulling me up by my hands and I just fall into her arms. She wraps her arms around me and I cry more.

"Come on sweetie let me get you to my place. You're okay, I've got you." Lauren says while stroking my hair with one hand and hugging me with the other. I grab onto her shirt and cry even harder. She leads me to her car helping me into the passenger seat. She buckles my seatbelt then wipes the tears from my face. She leans forward and kisses my forehead then goes around getting in on the driver side and we leave the park. The ride is quiet as I sit there looking out the window. I can feel Lauren looking at me off and on but I never look at her.

Lauren pulls up outside a fence at a very nice gated apartment complex. I look over at her and ask "what are we doing here?" She enters the code for the gate and says "I live here now." Like she can sense I have more questions, she looks over at me with raised eyebrows and gives me a 'what' look. I don't say anything though and just turn to look out the window. Once the gate opens she drives in and around to an apartment building and parks her car.

"Okay Kyler, come on so we can get inside and I can fix you something to eat." At the mention of food my stomach growls and Lauren chuckles. "You obviously must be hungry and probably haven't eaten today." I unbuckle my seat belt and as I'm opening the car door "no I haven't." I follow Lauren to her apartment door and we go inside.

When we get inside I take a really good look at Lauren and she looks tired. She is still beautiful as ever but she is hurting and I can see it plain as day. "Kyler, what's wrong?" Lauren asks looking at me. "Everything." I say. "Let me heat up the stir-fry leftovers and we'll eat and then talk." Lauren says. I just nod my head and look around her apartment. "You can go get comfortable on the couch. I will bring you a plate when it's ready." I don't argue with her, instead I just go sit on the couch and pull my knees to my chest and wait on the food. After we eat she puts the dishes in the dishwasher and quickly cleans the kitchen.

We end up in Lauren's bedroom on her bed sitting because that's where she walked to after cleaning the kitchen up from dinner and I just followed her in here. She sits on her bed, sitting close to the head of it and I sit in front of her but close to the foot of the bed. "Okay Kyler what happened at home?" Lauren asks.

I explain everything that happened with Mike and everything he said to me and what he said about Kyle too. She is angry about the whole gay thing he said about me, Kyle and mom and the part with him kicking me out. When I tell her about Mike grabbing me by my hair and pulling me to the floor, she is completely pissed. She wants to file a police report right now but I convince her not to because I don't want anything else to do with him.

"When did all this take place?" I really didn't want to answer that because I know Lauren will get mad but I can't lie to her. "Um... this morning" I say looking away from her. "What? This morning? How long were you at the park Kyler?" I just keep looking away until I hear Lauren more sternly "how long Kyler?" I finally look at her and say "seven and a half hours". A tear rolls down her cheek as she is looking at me and she quickly wipes it off. "I'm so sorry Kyler. I'm such an ass for ignoring you the past week and especially this morning. I let my own mess get in the way when you needed me."

"Hey, it's okay and I'm okay. It wasn't that bad sitting there. At least the weather was nice." I say with a light chuckle trying to lighten her mood. Lauren gives me that 'really' look. "So now you know what's going on with me, what has been going on with you?" I know she probably will not tell me but I asked anyway. "It doesn't matter." she says. I try to get her to talk but she will not say anything else. She just shakes her head no every time I ask.

I move a little closer to her and put my hand on her knee "you can talk to me Lauren; I'm here for you and always will be. I might understand some of what you're going through. Plus it might help to talk about it." She shakes her head and closes her eyes. "It's not your place to be here for me Kyler. It's not yours or anyone's." She says with a sniffle and looks down.

I get off the bed and move to the head of the bed and get behind Lauren propping myself against the headboard. I put my legs on either side of her and put my hands on her shoulders and lean her back against me. Her body stiffens for a few seconds then relaxes and I hear soft sobbing. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. "If you don't want to talk right now it's okay. Just let me comfort you. Just let me hold you so you know you're not alone. You always take care of everyone and it's okay to let someone take care of you." I say.

"I don't know" she whispers and starts to move, pulling away from my arms. I quickly scoot forward and wrap my arms around her from behind. I lay back against the pillows this time bringing Lauren down with me. She doesn't try to move away this time and she really starts crying. It hurts me to see her like this. I rub one hand up and down her arm and stroke her hair with my other. I feel her relax against me and her sobs nearly stop after about 10 minutes.

Lauren turns slightly so she is more on her side and rests her head against my chest. I wrap one arm around her tighter and with the other one I continue to gently stroke her hair with my hand. She sighs then in nearly a whisper says "I swear you're not 18. Nobody your age is this mature. I will try to tell you everything if you still want to listen." I know I gave my own shit to deal with but I honestly want to be here for her. "Of course I want to, Lauren. I meant what I said when I told you I was here for you. Nothing you say will ever change that and no matter how many times you try to push me away I am always here for you."