Becoming Undone [1/2] [✔]

One

Meredith's POV

I was tracing my collarbone as I was leaning against the nurses desk with my pen in the other hand, ready to write up patients notes.

My shoulders was hunched forwards slightly which made my collarbone stick out a little more which made me calm. I'm in control.

"Grey? Grey? Grey? DAMMIT GREY?"

Bailey slammed some patient charts down on the desk next to me, with a very stern look on her face.

"What?!" I exclaimed

"Excuse me?! You're paid to work, not to lean and to daydream into oblivion!"

"Bailey, I wasn't day-" I looked down and I realised I only wrote a quarter of what I needed to write for the patients notes. I excused myself to grab a cup of coffee from the cart outside, but not before Bailey told me I had to finish up writing all my notes and her post-ops before I leave my shift today.

Bailey's POV

That girl's head is in the clouds more and more these days. I watched her walk away, racking my brain trying to remember if Derek had mentioned if anything was going on with her.

Out of all of my interns, Meredith has been through so much and it doesn't seem to get easier for her.

As I walk to the next patients room, I catch Meredith outside next to the coffee cart buying a cup. It's strange, she takes a sip and then throws it away. Everyone in this hospital is 70 percent coffee so it doesnt make sense as to why she would throw a perfectly good cup of coffee away.

Meredith's POV

"Black coffee please"

I take a few deep breaths, willing the world to stop spinning.

"Here you go, Doctor"

I smile at coffee cart attendant and pay and walk a few steps out of the way of the quickly forming queue.

Caffeine really is a doctors oxygen around here.

I take a sip before I head back inside and I realise that the attendant has accidentally put milk in it.

God, why am I so stupid?! Did I ask for milk and just didn't realise? I can't go back and ask him to remake it, he's going to think I'm a complete moron. Who can't even get a coffee order correct?! Stupid stupid stupid.

I walk to the nearest bin and throw the cup of coffee in there.

Deep breathes Meredith.

As I walk inside, I see Derek. My McDreamy. He smiles at me as I walk over to him.

"Hey, you" he says, pressing the elevator buttons.

When the elevator arrives, I get in with him hiding the fact the world is spinning again.

"Mer, are you okay? You don't look well."

"I'm fine, Derek" I smile at him, I'm sure he knows my smile isn't as big anymore but it's the best I can muster for him.

"I'll meet you for lunch? Yeah? Mer?"

Derek gave me a quick kiss on my cheek and asked me again. Oh crap, lunch.

"Sorry, I'm, uh, I'm helping Cristina with something so can't. I'll see you at home"

I got off the elevator at the next stop and decided to walk the rest of the way up. Stairs are better anyway. If anyone asks, it's good for the heart.