Becoming Undone [1/2] [✔]

Forty Nine

Derek's POV

I woke up and had a moment of bliss before I remembered everything from the last 24 hours. My girlfriend got sent up to a psych ward, against her will. All because of me. I keep telling myself that I didn't have any other choice but I hate myself for making that choice. Meredith is my girlfriend and I've betrayed her. She didn't want to go there but I forced her. 

I get up and start to get ready, I need to see her. I'm desperate too. As I step into the shower, I start to cry but quickly stop myself. It's not my time to be upset. I need to be strong for my girlfriend. My Meredith. As I finish getting ready, I drive to the hospital and make my way up to the psych ward.

"Name?" The receptionist on the ward asks me.

"Uh, Meredith Grey." The nurse looks at me and starts to type something on her computer. I can't see the screen but it's making me nervous. Last time she was here, I was allowed to go and visit her straight away. 

"My name is Derek Shepherd, I'm her husband. What room is she in?"

The receptionist looks at me and calls someone. It must of been Dr Wyatt as she was the next person to come out.

"Derek, hi. Can you come this way, we need to talk?"

"What's going on? Why won't she give me Meredith's room number?" I follow Dr Wyatt and we go into a room. I guess it's one of the rooms that they use for therapy as there is a few chairs, which are all heavy duty so they can't be picked up and thrown.

"Where is my girlfriend?!" 

"Dr Shepherd.. Derek. Meredith is okay. She's in her room, she had a decent night sleep after we gave her a sleeping tablet. She was agitated and very upset so we wanted to give her something to calm her down."

"Okay, so where is she? I want to see her."

"Meredith doesn't want to see you. She's requested that you don't visit her. She demanded it and she has capacity so we have to honour it. I'm so sorry, Derek. I can give you updates on her recovery but for the moment, until she changes her mind, you are not allowed to visit her."

I'm stunned. "She's WHAT?! I'M HER HUSBAND. I HAVE A LEGAL RIGHT TO VISIT HER! I WANT TO VISIT MEREDITH GREY. WHERE IS MEREDITH?! TELL ME WHERE SHE IS, RIGHT NOW!"

"Derek, I understand you're very upset but you have got to calm down. I don't want to call security on you. She might change her mind in a few days or a few weeks but right now, she's scared and lashing out. I'm sorry that it's directed at you."

Unbelievable. She is my everything. And now she hates me.

Meredith's POV

I feel groggy and then I remembered. I was crying and wouldn't let anyone come near me. They gave me something to calm me down and I can't remember anything else until just now, when I woke up. 

I hear someone shouting, I sit up a little bit. It took so much energy to do so. Then I freeze. My name is mentioned. Who is asking about me? In the next second, I hear "where is Meredith". 

Crap, it's Derek. I guess they told him about my decision. I don't want to see him. I hate him for what he's done. I'm back in a psych ward, against my will and it's all his fault. What kind of partner does this to the person they're suppose to love?

It's a little while after the shouting and Dr Wyatt comes in to my room, presumably to give me the update that Derek is upset. Well, good! He has ruined my life. 

"Meredith, it's good to see you awake. How are you this morning?"

"I want to leave. I'm not sick. I'm fine!"

"Well, you passed out due to the lack of food. From that you had a brain bleed. Derek tells me you've been purging, throwing up after meals. As well as, the cutting. Bailey has also told me she found food hidden on your last day when you was here before. So, you're clearly not fine. Plus.. it's not your decision at the moment."

I turn my head away from her. 

"Derek has been up here asking for you. Are you sure you want to maintain your decision that he doesn't visit?"

"Yes, he doesn't visit me. He's ruined everything. He just wants me fat! He doesn't care about me."

"It didn't sound like he didn't care.."

"Did you want something?!" I know I shouldn't snap at her but I really didn't want to hear about how Derek feels.

 "You've missed breakfast because you was sleeping but here is an ensure. Due to your history with hiding food, I will be staying here while you drink it."

"I'm not drinking it so you might as well get comfortable." I said with a smirk. 

"If you continually refuse, we will place a NG tube to assist with the refeeding programme."

"You wouldn't. I'm not even thin. I shouldn't be here." Tears are threatening to blow my cover. I'm trying so hard to stay strong. 

"Drink up and you'll get to leave when it's deemed safe." Dr Wyatt pierces the foil top with the straw that comes with it and hands it to me. I study the packet, but, obviously they've covered up the nutritional information. I just need to know how many stupid calories are in this! When I can't get the information, I get angry. Why is this happening to me? Again!

I hold it up to my mouth and Dr Wyatt just watches me. I feel like a zoo animal. I throw it against the wall. 

"I TOLD YOU I WASN'T DRINKING IT!"

Hi, I hope you like this chapter! Thank you so much for the support. I'm so shocked how well this story has been received! Especially, given how I started this story to avoid doing university work! Will try to update more often x