Becoming Undone [1/2] [✔]

Five

Bailey's POV

I was writing up my notes after a rather impressive surgery, even if I do say so myself, when I see Cristina walk up to Meredith. Meredith very visibly pulled away, or was that a flinch? What was that about? I came out of my little post surgery bubble because Cristina looked like she had a lot to say and I wanted to know what it was. I'm not a gossip, but I am Bailey and I do know everything. I simply listen when people think I'm not. 

"Whoa, hey Mer, are you okay?" Cristina starts

"Wha-, yeah yeah I'm fine."

"You practically just jumped out of your skin when I brushed passed you. Are you hurt?"

"I was concentrating and you made me jump. Why are you making a big deal out of this?"

"Mer, seriously. Are you okay?"

Meredith sighed, quite loudly. "I am fine, Cristina. Did you actually want something? Or did you just want to bug me?"

"I was thinking, maybe we should go to Joe's tonight? Get wasted, you know, like the good old days." Cristina said with a laugh.

"No thanks."

"Or a dance part-"

"No thanks."

"Mer?"

"What?"

"Derek said you had a panic attack this morning. And that it came out of no where. He's worried. You don't seem yourself. Something is wrong. I'm here for you. Please talk to me."

"He said what?! How dare he? How dare you? You're both just having a gossip behind my back. I thought I was your friend. I thought you were my person. He had no right to talk to you. Back the hell off Cristina." Meredith slammed her hand down on the desk and walked off. 

Cristina turned around on the stop and matched my very confused face. What on earth just happened? It was like Meredith has had a whole personality transplant in the last 24 hours since I last saw her. Yesterday she was barely focused and today she was full of anger.

Meredith's POV

I can't believe this. Why would Derek do this? Once I'm out of sight of Cristina, I walk into the nearest supply cabinet. I go to the same box that I always go to, and shove it into my pocket and run into the closet on-call room. I lock the door, open paper packet which says "disposable blade, one use only". Of course I don't use it once, I just didn't bring one to work.

A few movements across my thigh to let out the anger. A few movements across my thigh to let out the betrayal. A few movements across my thigh to let out the upset.

I clean myself up and then leave the room. Keeping the blade near by.

Richard's POV

"Come in"

I call to allow Derek to come in and I gesture for him to sit down.

"Derek, I've just had a phone call from Seattle Pres. They have a complex neuro case and their head of neuro can't handle it. Are you interested? Derek?

"Huh? What? Yes, sure, I'll take it. Can you send me the case file and I'll look over it. I'll be happy to help."

Derek seems distracted. It took him a while to respond to my page and come to my office which is definitely unlike him.

"Everything okay, Shep?"

"Ahh, its Meredith, sir. She's not herself. She had a panic attack this morning and she's generally just not herself."

"I'll page her here and see if we can get to the bottom of it."

The anxiety suddenly became very visible in Derek's face. Was Meredith really acting that strange?

Soon enough, Meredith was at the door and I gestured her to come in. Derek was sat on one of my sofas. Most people choose to sit there when they are nervous. I'm still at my desk and Meredith is stood a meter into the room.

"Meredith, I've heard you've had quite a day." Her face changed to question me so I continue. "Derek tells me, you had a panic attack this morning. A pretty bad one."

If this sweet little girl was a cartoon, she'd have steam coming out of her ears. Anger flashed through her, quick at lighting.

"He said WHAT? He had no right!" She turned to Derek "You had no right. First Cristina, now the Chief. It was one panic attack. Big deal. They happen to everybody, sometimes for no reason. Stop trying to be some knight in shining.. whatever! Tell you what, stop trying full stop. We are done Derek. Done. I want your crap out of my house by the time I get home tonight."

"Mer, I'm only concerned about you. You're not yourself. The chief is like a dad to you. I thought he could help."

"I DON'T NEED HELP. THIS IS WHAT I NEED TO DO. NOW BACK OFF." Tears were dancing on her eyeline.

With that, she stormed off. What did she mean by "this is what I need to do"? I look at Derek, who only shrugged. I guess he didn't really know what to do now his relationship has just fallen apart. What could Derek do? What can I do to help the closest thing I have to a daughter? I have no clue what is going on with her but something is definitely wrong. 

Uh no, more people are seeing Meredith acting out of character now..