Becoming Undone [1/2] [✔]

Forty Five

Derek's POV

I wake up the next morning and Meredith is missing from our bed. I get up to look in our en-suite which she isn't in, so I make my way downstairs and she's in the kitchen, making breakfast.

"Hey Derek! I'm making pancakes, do you want some?"

"Uhh.. sure. Why are you awake so early? Usually, I have to drag you out of bed."

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep so I figured I'd just get up. I cleaned the kitchen and then I started breakfast."

"When did you come down?"

Meredith looks at the clock, "Um, about two hours ago."

"Here, let me do the pancakes. You sit down."

I place my hands around Meredith's waist and guide her to a barstool next to our kitchen island. Soon enough, I finish the pancakes that Meredith started to cook and place a few on a plate to place in front of her. 

"Are you.. are you feeling better today?"

"What?"

"Yesterday, well, last night. I thought I could smell sick in our bathroom. I just wondered if you were ill."

"What are you saying, Derek?" Meredith's whole voice and attitude had changed.

"I'm not saying anything, really. I just wondered, I don't know maybe my cooking was bad yesterday?"

"No. You're accusing me! I can hear it in your voice!"

"I'm really not, Mer"

"You are but look at this, I've finished eating! Do you want to follow me upstairs to see if I'm going to go make myself sick?!" 

"Meredith."

"Don't." She walks out of the room.

Meredith's POV

I can't believe Derek's figured it out. I cleaned it all up, I sprayed a room freshener. I thought that was enough. I can't believe I erupted on him like that downstairs, he probably definitely suspects something now. I'm so stupid. 

I only did a few times while I was on the ward. I hated it, but since coming out I've done it with every meal. It made sense to. This way I made everyone else happy by eating and I kept myself happy by not gaining anymore weight. Especially after seeing my weight on the scales in Dr Wyatt's office yesterday. 

As I was getting changed, ready for work. I was trying to figure out how I could purge without Derek getting suspicious, I'm sure he was going to keep a closer eye or ear out for me now but I couldn't keep this food in me for much longer so I locked the bedroom door and then the en-suite door and did what I felt I had no control over doing. 

When I was finished, I felt like I was floating. I went downstairs and Derek was waiting for me. His eyes was pink. A prang of guilt washed over me. I felt bad but he wouldn't understand.

"Shall we go?" He nodded and we both got into his car as we drive to the hospital. The ride was silent but I didn't mind too much, I still felt.. floaty. 

We got to the hospital and held hands until we got to the doors and we quickly parted ways. 

Cristina's POV

I've been practically glued to Teddy's service recently, which I love because she treats me like the cardio god that I am. I've done a solo procedure under her watch as well. Burke and Hahn would of never let me do that. 

I see Derek and Meredith walk in but they seem off, they're usually chat away but they aren't even looking at each other. In fact, them holding hands looks weird this morning. I see Derek walking up to me a little while later while we're by the OR board and he asks for a chat.

"Sure."

"Um, in here." He pulls me into a supply closet.

"Derek, I don't like you like that." I say with a laugh.

"Cristina." He isn't laughing. He's  really serious right now, "It's Meredith."

"What's wrong?"

"I think, she's been making herself sick. I asked her about it this morning and she practically exploded on me. Then when she went upstairs, I.. I heard her lock the bedroom and the en-suite doors. It was just us in the house."

I stand there, stunned. I didn't want to believe it. I slowly nodded my head. Derek walks out and Teddy finds me.

"You ok, Yang?"

"Shut the door."

I then proceed to tell Teddy, everything Derek just told me. I wouldn't normally, but I knew Teddy was aware of Meredith's problems. Especially given she knew before me. 

Oh no, what's going to happen? Any comments or suggestions are always welcome!