Becoming Undone [1/2] [✔]

Fifty Seven

Derek's POV

I just got of the phone to Bailey, she tells me that Meredith has asked to see me. She actually asked for me. For the last four months, whilst she's on the ward, I've been the root of all evil and before that I was still the person who she pushed away. 

Me and Bailey planned it so I would go to her house after work and after Meredith has her day patient programme. So, I will be there whilst it's her final meal? I'm not really sure how her day patient programme works, does she have all of her meals there or only a few? Her anxiety will be really high just by eating but me there as well? Maybe this will push her over the edge. 

I feel like I can breathe for the first time knowing that Meredith has asked for me. 

Dr Wyatt's POV

"Welcome, Meredith. How are you settling in?"

She walks into my office and sits on the sofa, closest to my fish take. During all of our appointments, she normally resides in that seat. I think it offers her a distraction, she can watch the fish as they swim as she tries to gather her thoughts.

"Meredith? I said how are you settling in?"

"Oh.. um.. okay I think?"

"You don't sound so sure?" I cock my head to the side, giving her time to open up. The first 10 minutes of an appointment with Meredith is always the hardest.

"I found a set of scales and weighed myself.. why did you make me gain so much weight? I was fine as I was." She whispers.

"Was you though? You was underweight, purging, exercising so much so that you fell down the stairs and caused a brain bleed. I wouldn't say that was fine. Would you?"

"No, not during that but I was managing. I was. Now I'm just disgusting."

"Is disgusting the right word? After all, the weight you are now got you out of hospital and in a couple of weeks you can return to work.."

"What? Really? I can go back to work? You being honest?" The excitement is radiating of the woman sat in front of me.

"I want you to do a 10 days of day patient, then 5 days where you will be here for five hours rather than the 8 you're doing currently and after that you'll only come here 3 days a week. We'll have a review afterwards to see where your at. How does that sound?"

Meredith turns to watch the fish, I think the plan has overwhelmed her. I watch her and witness tears falling down her face. I plan on giving her a little while so she can think of a reply. 

"I don't think that's a good idea, Dr Wyatt." This shocks me, for such a long time she was asking to be discharged and now she's reluctant, just like she was during her discharge meeting on the ward.

"I purged my snack this morning. I know I shouldn't of but my weight.. it's too high. I couldn't stand the feeling of it inside me." She doesn't bother to hide her tears.

"Thank you, Meredith. Thank you for telling me. I know that couldn't of been easy."

She looks at me, dumbstruck. "What? You're not mad? You're not going to chuck me back into the ward?"

"Do you want to go back?" Meredith shakes her head. "Just because you left the ward doesn't mean you've recovered completely. You're going to struggle but you're doing brilliantly. You never would of told me that 4 months ago."

"Oh." 

"You know what caused this lapse.. you weighed yourself and got triggered. It's bound to happen, triggers can be everywhere but you can't purge each time. So we will work on that for future sessions, what to do when you're triggered. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah, I wish I never did it. It was painful, it never use to be."

"Try and use that as a reason to not do it in the future. However, you are now missing a snack in your meal plan. How do you want to proceed with that?"

"Can I just skip it? I have already eaten it."

"And you got rid of it. So do you want it now or do you want it doubled for your afternoon snack?"

Meredith's breath began to quicken so I explained myself. "It's not extra food, Meredith. It's replacing what you've lost. It's not going to cause a weight gain."

"N.. now. I'll have it now."

I nod and fetch a snack from the wards kitchen. 

When I return, Meredith is lost watching the fish. She doesn't hear me come back into the room. I put her snack in front of her and went back to my notes. Our session was over and I was just writing up what we discussed. Meredith began eating her snack and finished it, within a decent time. She didn't require any support while she ate. It's truly a testament of how far she has came.

"Go back to the day patient room, I'll see you in a few days." Meredith nodded, thanked me and left the room.

Meredith's POV

I leave day patient and go down to the foyer of the hospital to wait for Bailey. Thankfully, she arrives pretty quickly. 

"You ready?" I nod as we both leave to make our way back to Bailey's house. "You remember that Derek is coming over this evening? You still okay with that?"

"I remember, it's okay."

We begin to prepare for our meal when the doorbell rings. Bailey goes and answers the door and I just decide to focus on the preparation. 

"Hello Meredith." A deep voice enters the room and my back stiffens. Oh god, why did I suggest that he comes over?

I spin around and welcome him with a weak smile. He comes closer and attempts to hug me but thankfully Bailey interrupts and tells him that I don't like hugs at the moment.

"We're.. we're having spaghetti bolognese.. is that okay?" I say to him, to which he nods and smiles. I've missed that smile. It always makes me feel safe.

We sit down to eat and Derek's watching me. Annoyingly closely. Bailey trys to cough a few times to distract him but he still watches me eat. I begin to get uncomfortable. He's probably thinking I'm too fat to eat.

"What.. er.. have you been up to? Any surgeries?" I ask, attempting to get his attention of me.

"We don't have to talk about that." 

"Why not?"

"Well.. you can't do it at the moment. I don't want to upset you."

"But watching me like a zoo animal is fine?" I snap and I hear Bailey giggle.

Derek looks away, rightly embarrassed. 

"Look, I'm okay. I'm doing a lot better than what I was. Besides, I'm coming back to work in a few weeks."

Both Derek and Bailey looks at me in shock, so I explain what Dr Wyatt told me. Bailey is beaming with joy whereas Derek still looks apprehensive. I don't know why he is so determined to keep me off work but I don't want to argue right now. I feel safe with him around. I'd hate to ruin that.

Thank you so much for 23k reads! How insane! Hope you enjoy the chapter xx