life's confessions

break loose

|deaja| i immediately shot up to the sound of my blaring alarm screaming at me to get up. Sighing I stretched out and stood to my feet.

I went to the plenty boxes and bags that came last night and looked through what i was going to wear..

After ten minutes of looking through the many clothes i have i finally went with distressed mom jeans i got from american eagle, a black body suit and of course my Jordan 11 Retros.

I laid it all out to make sure it went well and it did. I grabbed my golden necklaces and chains my mom bought me a little before she passed and laid them on top of the body suit.

I dragged my feet to the bathroom to hop in the shower.. after about fifteen minutes of me singing to myself i got out and brushed my teeth.

I grabbed the got2b bottle double checking that it was got2b instead of gorilla glue.. it was so I sat there touching up my lace front wig i got installed yesterday night.

I was now sitting at the end of the bed putting on my baby lotion.. I just like the way it makes my skin soft.. I've been using it for as long as i can remember.

I stood in front of the full sized mirror about to put on my clothes when i saw the scars he left me with. I'm constantly reminded of what happened to me.

I've tried just about anything to get the marks to go away but nothing seems to work. Quickly wiping the tear that fell i threw on my clothes.

I pulled out my phone taking a quick picture before going to find the things i needed. I put my folders, papers, charger and pouches inside the mcm bag i grabbed at the mall with auntie and headed up the stairs.

"Hey my pretty babyyyy" auntie karen came over to me as i stood in the living room grinning widely. She came over leaving kisses all over my face.

"Hey auntieeee" i said hugging her back. "Karen if you don't let the poor girl breathe" unc said from the hallway leading into the living room.

"Drew hush" she replied pulling back from me looking at me smiling just as wide. "Well if im gonna catch the bus on time i gotta go" i said looking out the door.

"Girl you crazy if you think im letting you ride that bus, let's go" she said walking off to get her keys.

"Wait we gotta pray" he said before we stepped foot outside. He was right.. besides I needed all the help i needed.

"Dear Heavenly Father we first want to say thank you for another chance of life.. thank you for keeping us through the night and im coming to you today asking that you please be a hedge of protection around deaja as she goes into the school house, let her teachers show her favor and just let your will be done at the end of the day.. we'll forever give your name the honor and glory in Jesus's name we pray.."

"Amen" we all said in unison. "Don't forget what I told you, alright?" He asked taking me into a hug.

"Yes sir" i said smiling before going outside and into the car. "Did you eat anything?" Auntie karen asked as we passed by all the restaurants.

"No ma'am, I'm not really a morning person" I said looking over finding a twisted up facial expression.

"Don't get into the habit of not eating, alright?" She said walking ... I really wasn't a big eater but i went ahead and agreed to save her some stress.

We pulled into the school and my stomach immediately dropped. "Welp, we're here" she said smiling sadly.

"I guess" I said looking down at my shoes. "Deaja lift you head and look at me, you will be alright.. I know you will." She reassured me before i walked into the building.

I went into the front office to get all i needed. "Your name?" The front desk lady asked. "Deaja moss" i said looking around at all the pictures.

"Alright baby here's your schedule, if you have any issue you know where to find me." She said after handing me the papers.

"Thank you so much" I said before i went outside of the office i heard a voice telling me to wait. I turned around and waited for her to continue.

I knew what was about to be said but oh well.. "umm are you somehow related to the clarks?" I knew it was coming but im sure they had it worse.

"Yes ma'am" I said giving her a kind smile. "Tell them I'm sending my love" she said before i left out the office.

I found my first class which happened to have been on the first floor. I turned the doorknob and everybody shot their heads to where i stood.

I wanted to ask them who the fuck they were staring at but it wasn't nice so i bit my tongue. I found an empty seat and sat down beside this almost grown nigga.

I sat through the instructions and the teacher passed out the worksheet that we were supposed to finish.

"Aye shawty what's yo name?" Dude asked. I looked at him for a minute before answering. "I'm deaja, you?" I asked just trying to not seem stuck up.

"None of yo business" he answered and my head shot around. "Nigga you asked me, humble yourself" I said turning my attention back to my paper.

"Bitch watch who you talking to" he said barely loud enough for me to hear. "I just know yo grown ass ain talking.. why are you in a tenth grade class looking like you have three kids and pay income taxes? Please get the fuck out my face" I replied rolling my eyes.

He really had me messed up if he thought he was finna talk to me any type of way.. I didn't like to talk that way but i most definitely could if need be.

The bell rung indicating that the class was over, i quickly grabbed my things and stood to my feet.

I sat through the next two classes and now it was time for lunch period. I headed outside to the courtyard and of course i saw grown ass.

"Aye where you finna go?" He asked trailing behind me. "Somewhere you not, move around" i said putting more speed in my steps.

"I asked you a question" he raised his voice grabbing me by my arm. "Nigga move are you crazy?" I asked slapping him across the face.

Now if I could go back in time I wouldn't have did it but what's done is done. "So we putting our hands on each other huh?" He asked causing me to drop my things by my feet.

Out of nowhere I felt a stinging sensation on the side of my face as I watched his fist pull back from my face.

I blacked out and started swinging as hard as I could remembering everything my no good father taught me about fighting.

All that I know is someone pulled me back snapping me out of wherever i was. "Aye you hitting on females now? You pussy." The male voice said from behind me.

I turned my head and got a good look at him before going into the bathroom.. one thing i know is if this somehow gets back home all hell will break loose.