If I Was Your Man (BWS)

Seventy

*Brad P.O.V*

I stared out of my bedroom window; today's weather really is matching my mood. Cold, dark and raining.

I had been awake for about half an hour but had been lied staring through the window, consumed in my own thoughts since I woke. It was strange waking up without Maddie by my side - there hadn't been a night in months where we haven't been together.

We didn't even talk much last night. We didn't talk after I left James', and all we did was say goodnight to each other over a text before we went to sleep but that was it.

Although, as horrible as it was not having her around at the moment, it was probably doing us both some good. Either way, it would benefit us because it would give us both space to think over our thoughts and feelings and discover what we really want.

I know what I want... what I want is her, and only her. But as for what she wants... I cant exactly tell you. I know what I want her to want. I want her to want me. However, after the thing that happened a few nights ago, I'm beginning to have doubts. All I have left is hope, connected between us by a piece of string. And when we next talk in a few days, she can either cut that string and break our bond or she can strengthen it and bring us back together. It's completely in her hands, but she doesn't know that. Yet.

There was a knock on the door, dragging me quickly out of my thoughts.

"Hello." I said, and the door opened.

"Hey mate." Tris said, appearing in the door way.

"Hi man." I said, trying my best to smile convincingly.

"Come on, you don't have to do that." Tris said.

"Do what?" I asked.

"The fake smiles and the 'I'm perfectly fine' act." Tris said, coming and sitting on the bottom of my bed. "I know you're hurting and suffering, Brad. And that's okay. I know how much Maddie means to you, and how much you mean to her. This is a horrible situation for you to be in so it's perfectly acceptable to not be okay."

I sighed, giving in. "Fine. I'm not fine. In fact, I'm the complete opposite. I know that having this break between us is good but I'm also petrified that by doing this, she's going to leave me. I can't loose her, Tris. I can't."

"If I can say my honest opinion, which by the way I'm not saying is true because I don't 100% know, but I don't think you'll loose her. You two have something really special, I doubt either of you would be willing to drop it all walk away from it over a silly mistake which meant nothing to her." Tris said. "Plus, you've barely been separated in months so the separation is actually probably a healthy thing."

"I guess so." I said. "I just get worried that this is going to be it. I can't hear the thought."

"Well, think of it this way: you're still together right now, aren't you?" He said, and I nodded. "So, you haven't lost her at the moment, have you?" I shook my head. "Exactly. So, for now you need to focus on yourself and cooling down over what happened the other night, and worry about Maddie in a few days when it comes around. How are you feelings about what happened between Maddie and Reece? Did you want to talk about it or no?"

"Sure, I don't mind. It might help me sort out how I'm feeling." I said.

"Go ahead. Take your time. I wont judge, just gonna listen." Tris said, smiling reassuringly.

I smiled back, gratefully. "Well... I'm not angry anymore. Initially when it first happened, I was hurt. That soon turned to anger, and then back to hurt again. Then now it's just more of a dull upset. But I'm choosing to believe her and Reece. When I spoke to Reece on the phone yesterday, he couldn't stop apologising and saying how he didn't even realise he had kissed her and how if he had been sober he never would've. We all saw how drunk they both were, they clearly just had no clue what they were doing. So, I've forgiven them for it and I'm choosing to believe that there's no feelings between them and that Reece isn't a problem between me and Maddie. However, I told Maddie that if there is any feelings, could she please come clean in the next few days and tell me so that I know and we can decide where to go from there."

"Do you think there is any feelings between them two and they just lied?" Tris asked. He was acting like my therapist, but I'm not complaining. It was actually a surprisingly big help.

"No, I don't think so. Purely because of talking to them both. Besides, if there was any feelings they would've had the feelings even before me and Maddie got together - they've been close for years so the feelings wouldn't have appeared whilst Maddie was with me. They also kinda sounded grossed out that they kissed, which I was happy about. I know that sounds bad, but it was a relief. They seem to hate the fact that they kissed for multiple reasons, not just because of mine and Maddie's relationship. I reckon they genuinely don't see each other as anymore than friends." I said.

"Well it seems like you've thought it through all pretty well and in depth. I agree with you. My personal opinion as well as the lads is that we think it genuinely was an accident as well. It doesn't change the fact that they still did what they did; no one is happy about that. But we all believe it was an accident as well." Tris said.

"That's actually reassuring to know that it's not just my mind trying to convince myself that the girl I love isn't just playing me." I said, and Tris chuckled.

"Yeah, don't worry, we all agree." Tris said, tapping the bed. "Anyway, I'm going downstairs to make some food. Want any?"

"I'll get up and come down now. Thank you." I said, and he nodded and got up, walking out and shutting the door as he left.

God, I can't stay mad at Maddie.

A/N:-

It's 1am and I have an English essay due tomorrow morning and I haven't written it 😎 welp, I'm so screwed

Chapter 70, damn- it's nearly done lads, it's nearly done snxbsjjsjsj

Anyway, hope you all are okay, thanks for reading and pls pray for me and my unwritten English essay.

Ebony xx