Secrets of Love

Ain't No Sunshine

I knew I should've been up and getting dressed, but I had made my mind up that I wasn't going. Brandon had woken me up at least five times. It didn't help that Jus, Daniel and Lexi had all come in to try to get me up. Brandon was dressed with the exception of his tie, jacket and shoes.

"Camille, get the hell up!" Brandon yanked the covers off of me and pulled me into a sitting position and walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on.

I laid back down before he came out of the bathroom. "I'm not going. Leave me alone." He pulled me up to remove my shirt and underwear.

He picked me up and went right into the bathroom walking into the shower.

"Stop, Brandon. I'm not going! Get off of me!" I yelled and was trying to get out of the shower. His clothes were soaked and had me pinned to the shower wall pouring body wash on a towel.

"Stop fighting me." He said washing my body where he could access without me moving.

"What's going on in here? What are you doing to her?" I heard Jus ask Bran from the doorway.

"Nothing. I got this, Justyce. I'll let you know when I need you." She must have walked out because I didn't hear say anything else over my constant fighting and yelling at Bran.

"No! No! I can't. I can't do it. Please don't make me do this, Brandon." I stopped fighting him as he hugged me to him and laid my head on his shoulder.

"We're going to do it together." He kissed the top of my head. "We're in this together."

Brandon washed me up and we both came out of the bathroom wrapped in towels. He was doing everything for me. He even assisted with brushing my teeth because of it was up to me I wasn't going to do it. He dried me off and put lotion on me. He grabbed my panties and bra and even my slip. He grabbed a black short sleeved dress and stood me up to help me step into it. He picked out my jewelry and put it on me.

I sat on the bed with no feeling in my body. I was completely zoned out and I couldn't understand why they weren't trying to help me. Why didn't they understand that I didn't want to see my baby in a box?

Bran was buttoning up his shirt when he kneeled in front of me when he told me he was going to get Lexi to do my hair. I just stared into his eyes and touched his face and nodded. He kissed my hand before he left the room. Jus and Lexi came in the room and Jus sat there and held my hand as Lexi quickly tamed my hair.

When it was time to go Justyce grabbed my shoes and placed them on my feet helping me downstairs.

"Help me, Lord. Help me, Lord. Help me, Lord." I repeated to myself very low while going down the stairs and out the door.

'In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.'

Brandon held my hand tightly as we walked towards the casket. His tears hit my hand as we approached what was the last time we'd see our baby girl in this life. She looked as if she was just sleeping. She was so pretty in her white dress with violet ribbon. Her violet and white headband was placed perfectly on her head. Bran bent down to kiss her one last time.

"Daddy, loves you, Aniya." He said. "Come on, Camille. You have to say goodbye." He whispered in my ear. I bent down and kissed her as I touched her curls one more time.

"I love you, Aniya." I said and then Bran escorted me to my seat.

The entire service was like a blur. I told them I wanted that casket open as long as possible. I knew it had to be closed eventually, but truth was I was never going to be ready for that reality.