What You Caused

73.

Chapter 73 | Just the way you are

Isabella:

You know how yesterday I was doing really well, my confidence was shining through and I was having a good day with eating?

Yeah, well today is the complete opposite.

It feels like there's a grey cloud looming over my head and I just know there's a permanent frown etched onto my face.

From the moment I had woken up, there had been that sinking feeling coursing through me and I knew that it wasn't going to be a good day.

I had tried to turn it around slightly and not let the sad, dejected feeling set the mood for the day but even after meditating, journaling to get my feelings out and even talking to Lucas on the phone, I still felt pretty much the same.

It sucked, I know, but I had hope and knew this feeling wouldn't last, I'd go back to having days with better self esteem and just better days in general soon, I just had to hold out until this little bump in the road passed.

That is why, although I wasn't feeling it, I was still urging myself to go shopping with Mia, Grace, Dylan, Aidan and Lucas today. Grace and Aidan needed to pick up a couple of items for their joint birthday party next Tuesday and the rest of us had offered to tag along and help them, as well as choose new outfits, more suitable for the spring season that was fast approaching.

Refusing to let myself myself stay in bed and wallow all day, I had hauled my ass into the shower, thrown on some comfy clothes and had gotten ready for the day to my best ability. I was still somewhat dreading leaving the house but I knew hanging out with everybody would make me happier.

"Hey Izzy, you alright?" Lucas asks me as I step into his car and buckle up my seat belt, dressed in baggy lilac coloured sweatpants and matching hoodie, my face make up free and my hair thrown into a messy ponytail at the top of my head. He eyes me in concern, his eyebrows drawn together as I keep my gaze on my lap and everywhere but his face.

"Yeah I'm good," I return softly.

I'm not even in the mood to be mad at him for 3-5 business days for the stunt he pulled yesterday. Or even focus on the fact he literally told me that he had feelings for me. I've just pushed that into the back of my mind to think about later.

"No you're clearly not," Lucas says gently, tapping my knee with his finger, a signal for me to look up at him. "Talk to me Izz, what's up?"

I give him a small smile. "Just woke up up on the wrong side of the bed, I'll be fine."

"Izzy..."

I sigh and tug on the sleeves of my hoodie over my hands. "I'm alright, I'm not doing so great today but it's fine, hanging out with you and everyone else will help take my mind off it."

His lips droop to a frown and he squeezes my knee comfortingly. "It's okay to have bad days Izz, just don't let it cloud over all the good days you've had all week."

"Yeah, I know," I sigh. "I'm trying to."

"Well...in the mean time, wanna listen to old throwback songs to help cheer you up?"

I tilt my head to gaze at Lucas as he throws me a boyish grin, dimples peeking out and eyes twinkling. That dimpled smile instantly lifts my mood just the slightest bit.

"Sure," I find myself mirroring his smile subconsciously and take his phone into my hand as he passes it over to me. I plug it into the aux and go through his throwback playlist and after clicking shuffle, too little too late by jojo begins to blare out of the speakers and I increase the volume significantly.